If you are of weak constitution, below the age of 5 or above the age of 90, or have a diagnosed heart condition, I advise you to refrain from watching this video, because the sheer amount of raw hype that is contained within it would probably cause you to die. And I don’t want to…
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Nemanja Bjelica Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2019)
Much has been made of the Sacramento Kings choosing Marvin Bagley over Luka Doncic. Indeed, based on the raw stats of those two players (abridged version of said stats: Doncic good, Bagley bad), it appears that the Kings drafted the wrong guy. But players don’t exist in a vacuum, accumulating stats in a void with…
Read MoreMatisse Thybulle 20 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2019)
Who says that Matisse Thybulle is just a one-way player? An extensive analysis of internet comments to find out who is claiming such a thing, and the results will not surprise you: -Trolls -Stephen A. Smith -Racists -Butthurt Raptor Fans -Ignorami -Russian Bots All those types of people regularly go on the internet and say,…
Read MoreDavis Bertans 25 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2019)
Casually running his hand over the smooth metal of the home-built contraption that was strapped to his chest underneath his baggy hoodie, Davis Bertans waited quietly in one of the numerous hallways of the Capital One Center. The one he was positioned in led directly from the visitors’ locker room to the parking area for…
Read MoreVince Carter 17 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2019)
If you thought Vince Carter was old last season, you won’t BELIEVE what he’s been up to during the offseason. Instead of spending that valuable off-time getting younger, like any ancient NBA player should be doing, he’s getting older! I guess he figures that since this is, by his own admission, his last year in…
Read MoreGrayson Allen 13 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2019)
While scrounging around for material for this video description, I honed in on Grayson Allen’s effective field goal percentage, which, at 45.2%, seems somewhat low to me. Full disclosure: I don’t know what effective field goal percentage is or what mathematical sorcery has to be undertaken in order to compute it. All I know is…
Read MoreDarius Garland 17 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2019)
If you just ignore all the context surrounding the game, including seemingly-pertinent details like the score, and focus ONLY on Darius Garland scoring these 17 points, you can come away with the impression that this ISN’T the most depressing “highlight” video ever made. The second you look at the final score of the game (which…
Read MoreTrey Burke 21 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/7/2019)
An unheralded inter-position battle is happening right now in Philly: Trey Burke is going against Raul Neto in the battle of former Jazz midget point guards. Right now, Neto is winning, which comes as a bit of a surprise to me (Jazz fans will probably not be surprised, though). He was always so marginal in…
Read MoreMike Scott 21 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2019)
Mike Scott had the offseason that all NBA players dream of: the kind where you go around and beat up NFL fans. What could be better than going to a tailgate before a game and getting into a skirmish with a drunk fan? And since it’s an NFL-related issue, the NBA won’t even punish you…
Read MoreJeff Green 19 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2019)
Jeff Green proved last year that he could still be a decent-ish scorer as long as literally no one (as in fans) paid attention to what he was doing. He averaged 12 points per game with the ‘Zards last year, a fact I know intimately because it seemed like I was making a vid for…
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