Malik Beasley would totally be a candidate for the MIP Improved Player award if a.) there weren’t so many other good candidates, b.) he was averaging maybe two or three more PPG per game than he is currently averaging, and c.) Pascal Siakam experience a very temporary and very localized gravity void and got flung…
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Luka Doncic Triple Double 21 Pts/16 Rebs/11 Asts Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
Luka Doncic stood alone in the ancient underbelly of the American Airlines Center. Around him were the crumbling remains of the Spanish mission upon which the arena had been built. Some months ago, Dirk had shown him the secret stairways which led to the forgotten stone corridors and ever-burning torches. Many secrets were held here,…
Read MoreDamion Lee 20 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
Damion “The Splash Brother-In-Law” Lee is another one of those seldom-used Warriors bench players who offer my only hope of ever making a video featuring a Warriors player. Given that the Warriors’ big four of Curry-Thompson-Durant-Cousins monopolizes all the touches and shots (for good reason), my opportunities to feature Warriors players on my scrub-oriented highlights…
Read MoreJahlil Okafor 30 Points/6 Dunks Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
When you think of the phrase “bucket party”, what do you think of? For me, I think of ordering a family-sized bucket of fried chicken from KFC and eating it over the course of an evening while watching NBA basketball. It’s not really a party by the conventional definition of the word because it’s just…
Read MoreChris Boucher 15 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
Chris “The Bouchebag” Boucher has been the mystery man for the Raptors this season. How good is he actually? Is he a being of pure potential or can he contribute on the court? Is his skinniness a hinderance or not a big deal? Is he better or worse than Lucas Nogueira? Raptors fans had all…
Read MoreJamal Crawford 51 Points/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
Jamal Crawford sprinted through the halls of American Airlines center. Whenever an arena employee or team personnel half-heartedly tried to get in his way to stop him, he just brushed them out of the way. Nobody would stop him from reaching his goal. Far behind him, he could hear the echoing sounds of many footsteps,…
Read MoreDirk Nowitzki 30 Points/1 Dunk/1 Retirement Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
Dirk Nowitzki stood on the clouds. To either side of him were ornate Romanesque columns that extended into the distance until they disappeared into the haze. Seeing nothing else to do, he walked down the colonnade with only his thoughts to keep him company. Dimly, he remembered that he had just finished playing in a…
Read MoreGreg Monroe 18 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
When I think about how badly Greg Monroe’s career derailed, I legitimately get sad. Normally I don’t feel emotions, much less emotions like sympathy, much less sympathy towards well-paid famous guys, but it is what it is. I can’t deny my emotions. And my emotions whenever Greg Monroe crosses my mind are predominantly sad in…
Read MoreChristian Wood Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
The Pelicans’ season is over. It was another mediocre season for the New Orleans franchise, but there’s a difference between this mediocre season and past mediocre seasons: this time around, there won’t be any Anthony Davis next season. Having him on the team always gave the fans hope for the season. Now there is no…
Read MoreBruno Caboclo 15 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
Bruno Caboclo is STEALING moves from Giannis. He’s not just borrowing them or using them. He’s STEALING them and he should give them back. Those are Giannis’ moves and other players aren’t allowed to execute them in games. In practice – fine. In summer pickup games – okay. But in real life NBA games? Giannis…
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