There’s not much that can faze Heat fans right now, and any attempt I make to denigrate them or their team will be construed as the salty, but inconsequential, babblings of a despondent Bucks fan, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try. And here’s the best I came up with: The Heat will pay Andre…
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Brook Lopez 22 Points Full Highlights (9/4/2020)
It’s time to come clean to all my loyal subscribers: I have not watched a second, no, not a single solitary second, of the Bucks’ second-round series against the Heat. The only parts of it I have seen have been through the highlight videos I’m forced to make. And I’m happier for it. I’m not…
Read MoreMarcus Morris 18 Points Full Highlights (9/3/2020)
We are getting closer and closer to seeing a Marcus Morris vs. Markieff Morris battle in the playoffs. It feels like we should’ve seen such a thing already, since they’ve both been on a bunch of teams, but we haven’t. But that’s going to change pretty soon if things continue on their current trajectory, unless…
Read MoreFred VanVleet 25 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (9/3/2020)
Players are now allowed to bring guests within the sparkling clean, virus-free confines of The Bubb. For Fred VanVleet, that means bringing his female companion (most likely a girlfriend or wife) and the mini-sized version of himself who is appropriately named Fred VanVleet Jr. Unfortunately, this miniature version of FVV is not of much use…
Read MoreEric Gordon 21 Points Full Highlights (9/2/2020)
“This might be the breakout game that he’s looking for,” says ESPN commentator Mark Jones after Eric Gordon hits two three-pointers in rapid succession to give him a blistering total of SIX WHOLE POINTS halfway through the first quarter. I’m all for commentators trying to manufacture hype and excitement, but trying to do it with…
Read MoreRobert Covington 21 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (9/2/2020)
This performance was great, but, as they (“they” being “dudes who literally went to space and didn’t die”) say, “Houston, we have a problem”. That problem is that Robert Covington, despite having the BEST forehead wrinkles in the entire league (a comprehensive ranking of the forehead wrinkles of all NBA players will be made available…
Read MoreLuguentz Dort Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (9/2/2020)
Through bleary eyes, Luguentz Dort gazed at the hazy silver sky above him. His mind felt at peace, somehow, like a great burden had been lifted from it. His body, however…that was a different story. Why was he so uncomfortable? He rolled to his side, thinking that he had simply wound up lying on a…
Read MoreTyler Herro 17 Points Full Highlights (9/2/2020)
Among the many things that Heat fans can be happy about right now is the fact that their first-round draft choice is playing quite well in the playoffs. I feel like the uptick in intensity between regular-season games and playoff games might be overstated, but there is some truth to the idea that it becomes…
Read MoreOG Anunoby 20 Points Full Highlights (9/1/2020)
I speak from personal experience here: when the Bucks lose an important game (like a playoff game), my fragile psyche simply doesn’t allow itself to think about the loss in any way, shape, or form. It’s a defense mechanism to stave off the inexorable progress of insanity. Avoiding all media outlets for a minimum of…
Read MoreRobert Williams 11 Points Full Highlights (9/1/2020)
Here’s something for you: if Robert Williams III AKA “Timelord” commits a traveling violation, would that be “Time Traveling”? It’s a shame to have to waste such creative wordplay on what is unarguably a negative basketball play. Unfortunately, calling Williams’ alley-oops “Time-Oops” or calling his blocks “Time-Denials” just doesn’t have the same ring to it…
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