Suns fans were, justifiably, not very pleased with Mirza Teletovic’s play to start the season. Even after considering that, just a few months previous, his lungs were filled to the brim with little clotty things, he wasn’t performing at a level that earned him any minutes at all. Lucky for him, then, that Markieff Morris…
Read MoreKarl-Anthony Towns 18 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Karl-Anthony Towns looked sadly out of a window in his apartment. The sky, frustratingly, was a bright, wintery blue. “Where’s the snow, Ricky? You said there would be snow.” he whined, pressing his nose against the cold glass. Ricky Rubio’s annoyed voice came from the kitchenette. “I never promised anything, Karl, and you know that….
Read MoreKristaps Porzingis 28 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
A lot has been made of Kristaps Porzingis’ first matchup with Dirk Nowitzki. It’s understandable; after Rik Smits, the most common pre-draft comparison for Kristaps was, in fact, Dirk. Well, maybe he was the third most common comparison after Rik and Chuck Nevitt. Hard to keep track of that sort of stuff. Anyway, yeah, they’re…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 18 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
OFFICIAL 2015 NBA BIGGEST EARS POWER RANKINGS 1. Boban Marjanovic 2-423. ???????? How am I supposed to know do I look like a guy who pays attention to ear sizes to you?
Read MoreShane Larkin 13 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2015)
Thanks to the National Security Administration’s probably-illegal nationwide internet traffic dragnet, all you need to do to get somebody’s Google search history is tell the NSA that you’re a police officer who needs the information to catch a child predator or a terrorist or something. Really I don’t think the NSA even reads the letter….
Read MoreCourtney Lee 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/6/2015)
During last year’s playoffs I invented and debuted the #payAttentionToCourtneyLee hashtag to recognize him for his exceptional ability to accumulate win shares. Unfortunately, the Twitter campaign was mostly a failure, with only a few people using my expertly crafted phrase on their Twitter posts. DTB is not a quitter though. He has a will of…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope 22 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2015)
If Kentavious Caldwell-Pope doesn’t call his own personal vehicle “The Popemobile”, then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with our country. Like, really seriously. It’s the perfect name, like if he’s going to go to the store, he could text all his friends “abt 2 go 2 the store in The Popemobile”. It would be perfect….
Read MoreThaddeus Young 25 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2015)
No one really likes the Brooklyn Nets. No one really likes Thaddeus Young. Those two things combined mean one thing: this video isn’t going to get any views. Normally, a player who has no fans plays on a team which DOES have fans, which means that some of those fans will watch any video where…
Read MoreMarcelo Huertas 8 Points Full Highlights (12/6/2015)
Man, did you realize that those Lord of the Rings movies are already like over a decade old? How time flies. It’s time for a reboot of the series, but this time, with NBA players instead of professional actors! I’ve already thought about who would portray the so-called “Fellowship of the Ring”: Frodo- Marcelo Huertas…
Read MoreWesley Matthews Career High 36 Points/10 Threes Full Highlights (12/6/2015)
Lost in an anesthetic haze, Wes Matthews wandered the deserted corridors of his mind. In the waking world, doctors were working tirelessly to repair his torn Achilles tendon, but in the inner world of Wes’ psyche, all was quiet, a side effect of the anesthesia that had ostensibly halted the workings of his brain. In…
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