When the demonic, high-pitched laughter began to emanate from the walls, Trae Young’s heart sank. This had been happening for months now, but it never got any easier. Each visit from the hair gremlins was a uniquely terrifying experience. There was no point in running, either to another room or out of his apartment entirely….
Read MorePascal Siakam 19 Points Full Highlights (6/7/2019)
I’m upset with Pascal Siakam right now because he’s forcing me to occupy my own time (which is a precious commodity that I cannot acquire more of) making marginal-quality highlight videos for him. When he’s scoring in the mid-twenties and above, I don’t mind the task, because the end result is a compelling highlight video…
Read MoreSerge Ibaka 20 Points Full Highlights (6/7/2019)
One of the main things that Serge Ibaka brings to the table in this series against the Warriors is bigness. He’s just a big dude at the power forward position, and the Warriors have very few big dudes to match up with him. Not only that, but the Warriors’ bigs are usually playing center because…
Read MorePascal Siakam 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (6/5/2019)
We are now facing the actual real possibility of the Raptors (the Raptors) winning the NBA Finals and thus, the “championship”. I don’t have a very clear idea of what winning a championship entails other than that each player (even Eric Moreland, apparently) gets a “ring”. Whether this is a physical or metaphorical ring remains…
Read MoreDanny Green 18 Points Full Highlights (6/5/2019)
Ever since his first NBA Finals with the Spurs (where he legitimately looked like he could have been finals MVP until he wet the bed in games six and seven), I’ve had this conception of Danny Green where he totally steps up in Finals games and makes everybody into his bitch with his three-point shooting….
Read MoreFred VanVleet 17 Points Full Highlights (6/2/2019)
We are currently living in a world where Fred VanVleet not only gets minutes in the NBA Finals, but a world where Fred VanVleet gets almost forty minutes in the most important game in Raptors’ franchise history to date. It’s also a world where Fred VanVleet takes seventeen shot attempts in that game. And a…
Read MoreJaVale McGee All 201 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
The pleasant sounds of an oboe concerto, played at a reasonable volume, wafted through the high-end sound system of the small, yet luxurious, apartment. The residence’s sole occupant, seated in a leather armchair by the window, occasionally looked up from his Kindle when a particularly inventive harmony graced his ears, before returning to his book…
Read MorePascal Siakam 32 Points Full Highlights (5/30/2019)
Pascal Siakam didn’t play particularly well in the series against Milwaukee, scoring fourteen PPG per game on 40% shooting, a far cry from the 17 PPG per game on 55% shooting that he displayed during the regular season. I was thinking to myself “The inexperienced Siakam is not yet ready for the biggest stages that…
Read MoreMalcolm Brogdon 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (5/23/2019)
However this season turns out for the Bucks (not looking good TBQH), I just want to take the time to say thank you to Malcolm Brogdon for being a total beast this year. Maybe “total beast” is pushing it (that title would be more accurately applied to D.J. Wilson), but he’s been so damn consistent….
Read MoreFred VanVleet 21 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (5/23/2019)
Contrary to your expectations, your old pal Dee Tee Bee is not even mad right now. In fact, it may surprise you how incredibly not mad I really am. Normally, a certain (former) scrublord named Fred VanVleet hitting 7 of 9 from deep in a pivotal game 5 win would cause much consternation for certain…
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