One of my biggest regrets in life (other than letting it all fall apart with my beautiful Jennifer) is not making a C.J. McCollum midrangeilation for last season. By the time I realized that I wanted to make such a video, it was too late. Because that time was just now. Just now I am…
Read MoreJonathon Simmons Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (10/25/2016)
When Jonathon Simmons was led, blindfolded, to a secret subterranean dungeon underneath the AT&T Center, he was fairly sure that he had been kidnapped by terrorists, even when the man leading him repeatedly stated that he was one of the assistant coaches. But then, the blindfold was taken off. In the dimness of the torchlit…
Read MoreJoe Johnson 29 Points Jazz Debut Full Highlights (10/25/2016)
Do you ever watch a highlight video but instead of getting hyped you just kind of sit there because you know you’re watching the regression of the NBA back into early-00s iso-ball? I sometimes do. It’s like “wow it’s so cool that this guy is getting buckets but damn, does he ever get set up…
Read MoreNoah Vonleh 11 Points Full Highlights (10/25/2016)
You know how long I waited to do Noah Vonleh highlights last season? I’ll tell you: THE ENTIRE FRICKIN’ DURATION OF SAID SEASON! He showed some flashes (maybe just one flash, actually) at the end of his tenure with the Hornets, so I thought that a new team, a new atmosphere, and a starting gig…
Read MoreGeorge Hill 19 Points Jazz Debut Full Highlights (10/25/2016)
“…OFFICIAL MOST UNEXPECTED THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE 2016-17 NBA SEASON POWER RANKINGS” “1. Anthony Bennett will average eight points per game. This is because the Nets will be garbage. The Nets’ garbageness will surprise nobody, but Anthony Bustett managing to bumble his way into a large number of double-digit scoring games should bamboozle…
Read MoreRodney Hood 26 Points Full Highlights (10/25/2016)
Soon after the crystal tendrils of Adam Silver’s hyper-evolved posthuman form had spread over my body and fully overwhelmed it, there was a brief period of darkness. I could feel my consciousness being transferred from my mortal human shell into the perplexing computer-like structure. All at once, I lost the feeling of gripping cold on…
Read MoreRodney Rogers 28 Points Full Highlights (2/27/2000)
Everyone has seen the video of T-Mac scoring 13 points in 35 seconds to pull the Rockets back from certain defeat. It’s like a top-5 component of YouTube-NBA lore. Even that annoying dude in your circle of acquaintances who wears that corny “sportsball” t-shirt and talks about how pro sports are a waste of time…
Read MorePredrag Drobnjak 16 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2003)
Basically my only hope for this vid getting any views at all is if it gets posted on montenegrosports.ba or basketcroatia.rs or some other weird-ass former Yugoslav republic sports news website. It will probably come up first for searches like “Predrag Drobnjak” and “Peja Drobnjak”, true. Realistically, though, how many people on this earth are…
Read MoreEvery Rookie’s First NBA Basket (2015-16 Season Rookieilation)
You are now manually thinking about the fact that Coty Clarke scored points in the NBA but you never saw them happen. It’s driving you nuts, isn’t it? You can search the Youbutts all you want, feverishly entering any search term that could possibly bring up the desired results as your mental soundness erodes, but…
Read MoreTim Hardaway 30 Points/19 Assists Full Highlights (2/17/1995)
19 assists! Holy cow! Sounds like a lot of dimes, right? That’s because it IS a lot. A lot for 2016, a lot for 1995, a lot for any era of NBA basketball. 19 is a nice sounding total, an impressive number that is almost 20. But how impressive is this performance, really? Let’s find…
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