Patrick Beverley sat down at his writing desk, his hands tingling with the words that yearned to be written. Pulling towards him an unused piece of stationery, he began to write: “‘An Ode to Russell Westbrook’ How I truly hate him so My eternal point guard foe Smug about his triple-doubles I hope his knees…
Read MoreJaMychal Green 20 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
Being a learned NBA scholar, I possess knowledge of the NBA that mere fans cannot fathom. For example, I can name the other NBA team that JaMychal Green has played on that is not the Grizzlies. This knowledge if of a most arcane and forbidden nature, and it is perhaps unwise of me to divulge…
Read MoreJ.J. Barea 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
OFFICIAL NBA PLAYERS FROM US UNINCORPORATED TERRITORIES POWER RANKINGS: 1. Tim Duncan (US Virgin Islands) 2. J.J. Barea (Puerto Rico or Mexico) 3. Is Raja Bell still around? 4. What about Carlos Arroyo
Read MoreWesley Matthews 26 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
Is it fair to say that Wesley Matthews is a bottom-ten starting shooting guard in the NBA right now? Am I being fair in saying that? Because it definitely seems like he is. I know that’s he’s coming off a serious injury and it might have affected his jumpshot, but the plain facts are that…
Read MoreNorman Powell 13 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
Thirteen points at halftime means twenty-six at the end of the game. That’s how math works. I would know. I’m a math expert. But, somehow, Norman Powell flouted all the rules of math that we normally abide by, and ended the game with thirteen points after having accumulated that total in the first two quarters….
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
There’s something about the “air” in Denver that transforms average foreign centers into production powerhouses. Nene, Petro (lol kidding on that one the rest are legit for real), Koufos, Mozgov, Vesely (lol got you again), Nurkic, and Jokic. There’s just something different about Denver, a culture, if you will, that encourages people to bring the…
Read MoreJulius Randle Triple Double 13 Pts/10 Asts/18 Rebs Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
I’m going to come right out and say it: this was a Giannis-esque performance by Julius Randle. Some of these scoring moves are right out of the Greek’s playbook. Herky-jerky drives to the basket that maybe could be called as travels, ending with contorting finishes that defy logic. And the passes? They’re also similar, in…
Read MoreWillie Cauley-Stein Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
Pop quiz time? Pop quiz time! First question: in which manner did Willie Cauley-Stein score his 26 points? A.) 11 dunks, 4 out of 11 and-ones converted B.) 6 threes, 2 skyhooks, 1 putback dunk, 1 alley-oop dunk C.) Just a bunch of skyhooks D.) 1 jumper, 5 dunks, 1 putback, 4 post moves, 1…
Read MoreAndrew Nicholson 19 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
If you ever want some extra proof that Hassan Whiteside isn’t the greatest defender, just watch this vid. Holy DAMN. Andrew Nicholson (to repeat: ANDREW NICHOLSON) absolutely abused him repeatedly. REPEATEDLY. MORE THAN ONCE. How many times can you do a pump fake and have it still work? Apparently, as many times as you want,…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 21 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2016)
I used to not want for the Rockets to make the playoffs. Not for any particular dislike of them; I just like seeing good teams do bad (it means more scrub highlights). Due to unforeseen circumstances, my position has officially reversed. Now I want nothing more than for the Rockets to make the playoffs, and…
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