Allegedly, DeMarre Carroll is the starting SF for the Atlanta Hawks. I guess time passed me by; I thought they were still starting Marvin Williams. Now that you mention it, I didn’t see any Josh Smith or Joe Johnson out there either. This is very strange. I definitely watched that Hawks team only a few…
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Mike Scott Career High 30 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/22/2014)
Mike Scott took a good look at himself in the mirror. As always, he scrutinized every part of his face. After all, he was going to be on TV, and there was no point going out there looking like a hobo. As he smoothed his hair, a voice from above his head startled him. “Hey,…
Read MoreGustavo Ayon Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2014)
The goose is loose! Gustavo Ayon has been thrust into the starting role in the absence of any other centers on the Hawks’ roster. He’s not a bad player, but he’s not really a threat to score from anywhere outside the paint. And even there it’s not a sure thing. His real value lies in…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll Career High 22 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (2/5/2014)
Mike Budenholzer paced frantically about the room. “We have to start somebody at small forward. That much is known. But who? Who?” A nameless assistant coach piped up, “What if we start Lou at the two and move Kyle to the three?” Budenholzer slammed his fist on the table. “No! Lou is our spark off…
Read MoreMike Scott 18 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (1/31/2014)
“Hey guys, look! It’s snowing! Hahaha, it’s snowing!!!” Mike Scott yelled gleefully, interrupting practice to run to the window of the practice gym. With his face smahed up against the glass, he exclaimed, “Snow in Atlanta! I’m gonna go play in it!” Coach Budenholzer put his hands on his hips. “Mike, practice will end in…
Read MoreElton Brand 18 Points Full Highlights (1/31/2014)
Will people 20 years from now remember Elton Brand at all? People already have forgotten how good of a player he was with the Clippers. He’s Blake Griffin without all the flashy dunks (so nothing lol jk). Not exciting at all. Workmanlike. The kind of player who’s only legacy will be as a trivia answer…
Read MoreDennis Schroeder 10 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2014)
Another highlight maker’s quandary: how to spell foreign names? The NBA lists him as Schroder, which is totally wrong. Totally wrong. I refuse to use such a blatant misspelling. His jersey has the umlaut over the O, I think. That is correct. But this is America. We don’t use diacritical marks. Because of freedom. My…
Read MorePero Antic Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2014)
Pero Antic walked up to the Hawk’s practice facility on the first day of training camp, eager to make a good impression. He opened the door, and walked towards the gym, encountering Jeff Teague. He smiled warmly and extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Pero Antic, your new teammate.” Jeff smiled and shook the offered hand….
Read MorePero Antic Career High 16 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2014)
With Al Horford sidelined temporarily with a torn boob, the Hawks really needed someone to step up and take up the space on the court where he used to reside. But instead of getting a guy like Horford they got a guy named Pero Antic. He likes to shoot threes. And he’s Macedonian. But don’t…
Read MorePero Antic Career High 16 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (1/3/2014)
So apparently Greeks don’t like Macedonians? I only ask because on the NBA’s highlight of Pero Antic being clutch there were some Greeks using the term “Monkey-donians”. I guess a few bigots have to ruin it for everybody. They’re just jealous, anyway, that Macedonia actually has a native-born player in the NBA. All the Greeks…
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