After making twelve three-pointers in his first 48 games as NBA player, Daniel Theis poured in three of them against the unsuspecting Nuggets en route to 111-110 Celtics victory. Basically, he forcibly rammed his authentic German knackwurst right down the throat of any and every nearby defender. Since he only scored eleven points, which is…
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Jaylen Brown 20 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2018)
There are rumblings that Gordon Hayward might come back from his injury before the season’s end. Jaylen Brown has a few options in this scenario: -Pretend to be happy when Hayward comes back and you get moved to the bench, but actually your soul is a tormented wasteland -Tell Hayward not to try to make…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 22 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/23/2018)
Marcus Smart missed a buzzer-beating three-pointer as time expired, but if the Lakers could actually shoot free throws (Josh Fart missed a pair with nineteen seconds left and Kentavious Callbrick-Poop missed a pair with five seconds left), Smart wouldn’t have even had a chance to take (and miss) the game-winner, so I consider this one…
Read MoreJaylen Brown 21 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2018)
The NBA keeps talking about wanting to put a team in Mexico City. I foresee a number of problems with that plan (DTB’s fun fact of the day: Mexico City is at a higher altitude than Denver), but I won’t go into that now. They have to think differently. Take a look at the NFL,…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 18 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
OFFICIAL LOWEST TRUE SHOOTING PERCENTAGES FOR PLAYERS WHO PLAY MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES PER GAME POWER RANKINGS: 1. Lonzo “Secretly Hates his Father” Ball (43%) 2. Marcus “Vital Part of the Team” Smart (45.8%) 3. Danilo “Hospital Bed” Gallinari (47.5%) 4. Dion “Buckets Don’t Lie” Waiters (48.7%) 5. Nicolas “I Hate Juan-Carlos Navarro” Batum (49.7%)…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 20 Points Full Highlights (1/3/2018)
So maybe DownToBuck was wrong this one time. After his rather disastrous rookie season, and an improved but still not overly impressive second season, I didn’t have high hopes for Terry “Midget Shooting Guard Who Can’t Shoot” Rozier going into his third season. But he proved me wrong and improved his three-point shooting to a…
Read MoreDaniel Theis 12 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2017)
It was mentioned in the commentary of this game that Daniel Theis is not a good shooter, so of course I had to trek over to his basketball-reference page and peruse the numbers for myself. What I saw is that Theis is a cool 5/26 from three-point land (shades of rookie John Wall), but a…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 16 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2017)
I didn’t watch as much Christmas day basketball as I would have hoped, so I can’t really tell you what happened for the Celtics to lose to the Wizards. All I can say is that the Celtics got EXPOSED on national television for all of America to see. An entire nation, cocooned in torn-up wrapping…
Read MoreJayson Tatum 20 Points Full Highlights (12/25/2017)
With his 2-for-2 performance tonight, Jayson Tatum pushes his three-point percentage back up to a nice round 50. Somehow he is still behind George Hill (wtf I thought he was sucking) in that category, but there’s no shame in being second place with that kind of stat. We’re getting close to the halfway point of…
Read MoreJaylen Brown 20 Points Full Highlights (12/23/2017)
Jaylen Brown perused the selection of cards at his local Hallmark store. There were so many to choose from: get well cards, thank you cards, birthday cards, holiday cards, it was too much for him. Feeling overwhelmed by the options, he closed his eyes and grabbed one at random from the “Christmas” section. When he…
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