Daniel “Theis Theis Baby” Theis has been good enough for the Celtics that the usual calls for them to trade for a center at the deadline have been muted. At least, that’s my impression of things. Maybe there are crowds of Celtics fans who are tired of his low-usage efficiency and are clamoring for the…
Read MoreTag: Boston Celtics
Enes Kanter 18 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2020)
Enes Kanter scored eighteen points in the first half of this game, most of them on hustle buckets (offensive rebounds and the like). You can crow all you want about Kanter’s lack of defensive ability, but you can’t ignore his ability to make bitchmeat out of opposing centers on his way to grabbing five hundred…
Read MoreMarcus Smart Career High 37 Points/11 Threes/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/18/2020)
An unmoving, unclothed body lay sprawled on the marble floor. For some time, it continued to lie there, but the passage of this time was meaningless, for, in that place, the causality which served as the foundation of all existence was divorced from the flow of time. Then, the man awoke, and, in confusion, got…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 24 Points Full Highlights (1/16/2020)
I’m looking at the 2014 draft, and I don’t know if all the scouts were high on drugs or what, but that was kind of a cruddy set of players in the lottery. I don’t even care for Marcus Smart that much (partially because he just got done kicking my team’s heinie, but also for…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 22 Points Full Highlights (1/11/2020)
Time ran out for Kanter on his quest to get a 20-20 game, but his final statline was impressive nonetheless: 22 points and 19 rebounds in only 23 minutes. Your first thought when you see such a statline should be “Would that have been the fastest 20-20 game ever if he had grabbed that extra…
Read MoreMarcus Smart 24 Points Full Highlights (1/9/2020)
Usually when I want to harvest the sweet ambrosia that is Celtics fan tears, all I have to do is say something like “you paid Marcus Smart fifty million dollars to hustle and suck at shooting”, strap on the apparatus (just a pair of goggles with some tubes attached for the tears to run through),…
Read MoreDaniel Theis 14 Points/1 Game-Winning Block Full Highlights (1/3/2020)
It’s too bad that Daniel Theis’ impressive defense on Trae Young on the last real possession of this game was overshadowed by the fact that: 1. Marcus Smart decided to try to steal Theis’ glory even though he didn’t do anything on the play in question by pulling the “Iverson stepover” on Trae Young but…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 13 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (12/31/2019)
I was really on the fence about making this video, considering the low point total (this dude scoring only 13 is like Stephen Curry only scoring 40), but come on man. SIX blocks for Enes Kanter. That’s a career high by far, surpassing his previous high of four. If nothing else, I had to see…
Read MoreGrant Williams 18 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (12/20/2019)
The Celtics’ box-scores are dominated by their star players. If a Celtics player has a good individual game, it’s overwhelmingly likely that that player is one of Tatum, Brown, Walker, or Hayward. Their role-players rarely go off for large amounts of points, as evidenced by the fact that I’ve made just SIX videos for Celtics…
Read MoreDaniel Theis 16 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2019)
Not included in this video: Daniel Theis getting his shot with 9 seconds left so soundly rejected by Joel Embiid that he had no choice but to try and crawl near the basket stanchion to protect himself. Included in this video: Daniel Theis scoring 16 points worth of buckets, presented without interruption. If you want…
Read More