Matthew Dellavedova 14 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2013)

The Cavs are a seriously messed up team. Rather than start their 4th pick from a year ago, they decide to start an undrafted Aussie rookie with a messed up face. Waiters is rumored to have punched Irving in a dispute during a players-only meeting. Well, he should have punched Dellavedova instead. The resultant facial…

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Anthony Bennett 9 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2013)

There has been much furor on the internet over the fact that Anthony Bennett, the Cavs numero uno pick, is playing like total garbage. You know he’s bad when people are comparing him unfavorably to Olowokandi. A keen observer might notice some other clues to his unsuitableness, like his sub-15% shooting percentage and that clip…

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James Jones 14 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (4/15/2013)

James Jones is an enigma. He has shown the ability to be a bigtime play-maker. But a series of high-profile drops has led to confidence issues. His team needs someone who they can rely on in high-pressure playoff situations. Another question is, is he only good because of the dude feeding him the ball? Aaron…

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Kevin Jones Career High 11 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (4/14/2013)

Official Joneses Currently In The NBA Power Rankings: 1. There is no #1. They all suck. 2. Dahntay Jones 3. James Jones 4. Terrence Jones 5. Kevin Jones 6. Perry Jones III 7. DeQuan Jones 8. Dominique Jones 9. Solomon Jones Wow, that list is kind of unimpressive. But if Kevin Jones can keep up…

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Tyler Zeller 18 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2013)

It’s sometimes really hard to tell if a team is tanking or just really bad. Like the Cavaliers. They just gave up a 20 point lead with 8 minutes in the game and lost. That’s a telltale sign that a team is tanking: losing huge leads. But it’s not out of the realm of possibility…

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Marreese Speights 23 Points Full Highlights (4/1/2013)

Marreese “Speighetti” Speights is the second coming of Dirk. All you have to do is watch this video to witness him swish jumper after jumper. He is a scoring machine, yet he can’t even get 20 MPG with the Cavaliers, and he’s backing up Tyler Zeller. What’s up with that? It must be his defense….

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Tristan Thompson 18 Points Full Highlights (3/20/2013)

The NBA needs to do something about tanking. Cleveland was up by 27 at one point in the third quarter, but they lost anyway, thanks to some well-timed Luke Walton and Boobie Gibson insertions into the rotation. And I’m pretty sure Byron Scott told Tristan to cool it on the scoring after his ten-point first…

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Wayne Ellington 21 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2013)

Apparently Wayne Ellington won the NCAA National Championship while he was at North Carolina. I wouldn’t know because college basketball sucks. But what sucks worse is that Ellington was used to winning, yet his whole career (minus half a season with the Grizz) has been on losing teams. The worst, though, is getting traded with…

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Luke Walton 2 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (3/4/2013)

In a previous description I wrote these words: “Luke Walton is the worst player currently in the league, and any team with him on it is damned. Damned I tell you.” I guess I have to revise that statement. Because would the worst player in the league be only 8 points and 10 rebounds shy…

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