Jabari Parker shivered, his stomach turning knots as he looked at the six remaining uncooked brats before him. He turned to see how the other insufficiently-clothed competitors were doing. Damien Inglis, just having upchucked his portion of the “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity”, lay in the snow, curled up in a little ball and moaning. Giannis,…
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Jabari Parker 23 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2014)
Jabari Parker, clad only in his underwear and shivering, placed the first bratwurst in his mouth, gagging at its unappetizing texture. Zaza Pachulia looked on amusedly as the stopwatch ran in his hand. “If you have trouble with first brat, imagine how number 10 feel! Remember, no puke or you lose and receive mocking!” Jabari…
Read MoreJabari Parker 12 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2014)
Jason Kidd must be teaching rookie Jabari Parker a lesson: if you can’t play defense then you’re not going to play near the end of games. It’s a good lesson, I guess, unless you’re the kind of person who just wants to see Jabari score a ton of points. Count me as one of those…
Read MoreJabari Parker 13 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2014)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Jabari Parker during his brief time with the Bucks it’s this: He likes to dunk basketballs. Seems like half his points this year have come in that fashion. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing. In this game all but two of his field…
Read MoreJabari Parker 13 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2014)
Like many rookies, Bustbari Porker has struggled out of the starting gate this season. To further the horse racing metaphor, he isn’t being whipped hard enough by his jockey, Jason Kidd. Parker’s scoring will come around, eventually. His last two games have seen him choose his spots better, and he’s been dunking everything he can…
Read MoreJabari Parker 10 Points Full Highlights (11/4/2014)
Someone obviously told Jabari that he only had one total assist coming into last night’s game. Not his fault, he’s a designated scorer on a team that needs it. Hard to pass when you can get a decent shot any time you want. Anyway, it was obvious because Jabari had an easy layup on a…
Read MoreJabari Parker 11 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (10/31/2014)
Jabari Parker gave out handfuls of candy to all trick-or-treaters who came to his door yesterday. Inspired by his heartless actions, I undertook a similar policy for all the costume-clad kiddies who showed up at my place for Halloween. However, instead of candy, I handed out dollops of my hard-won basketball knowledge, because I can’t…
Read MoreJabari Parker 8 Points Bucks Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)
Jabari is standing at the podium, ready to give his hall-of-fame inductance speech. In his mind he looks back fondly on one game in particular, the first game of his championship-ring adorned career, against the Hornets. They may have lost that night, but who is the real winner now? Looking over the assorted luminaries present,…
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