If the Jazz want to win this series, and I bet they do, Jae Crowder has to start beefing hard with either James Harden or Chris Paul right now. No delay, there is no time for a delay. Significant beefage between him and one of the Rockets’ star players might be enough to tip the…
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Jae Crowder 27 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (4/25/2018)
At first blush, the Jazz giving up a 25-point third quarter lead has to rank among one of the greatest collapses in recent playoff history. However, one must take into account the unique circumstances that led to the lead growing that large in the first place. What I’m talking about is the fact that Jae…
Read MoreJae Crowder 18 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2018)
Who else is ready for the relentless praise that Jae Crowder will get during the playoffs for being a “steadying veteran presence” for the Jazz? If he even has one good game, we’ll hear all about how he replaced the immature, not-quite-ready-for-the-big-time Rodney Hood with the gritty, no-nonsense, defense-first Crowder. I can already hear it…
Read MoreJae Crowder 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/9/2018)
Something wasn’t working out with Jae Crowder in Cleveland. I don’t know what it was, because my basketball-analysis capability is roughly equivalent to that of a well-trained horse, but it couldn’t be denied: Crowder and the Celtics weren’t on the same page. Stats-wise, percentages-wise, he’s not actually doing better on the Jazz. Surprising, I know….
Read MoreJae Crowder 15 Points Jazz Debut Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
Jae Crowder is probably glad to get out of Cleveland. Nobody really liked him there. LeBron probably yelled at him all the time and the fans obviously thought he was trash (because he kinda was). Now he gets a fresh start in a small market where everybody’s polite. Even if continues to play like trash…
Read MoreJae Crowder 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (5/17/2017)
If it turns out that Jae Crowder’s dreadlocks are indeed shorter than they were during the regular season, which the photographic and videographic evidence clearly indicates, then I officially demand a refund. I want my money back. I didn’t pay the big bucks so I could watch inferior dreadlocks on display. Crowder’s are still among…
Read MoreJae Crowder 24 Points Full Highlights (4/6/2017)
Last night I had a dream that I lived in a house made entirely out of Jae Crowder’s dreadlocks. I probably ate too many cheesy-flavor potato chips before bed or something, but that doesn’t matter. I would gorge on chips every night of the week if it meant I got to spend five hours of…
Read MoreJae Crowder 25 Points Full Highlights (3/26/2017)
you can’t guard me
Read MoreJae Crowder 24 Points Full Highlights (3/17/2017)
If there was some sort of NBA-related MMA venture, I bet Jae Crowder would do pretty well. I mean, since it was NBA-related, there wouldn’t be any actual fights, just a bunch of dudes standing around and posturing, but Crowder would be really good at that. There is an art to looking so much like…
Read MoreJae Crowder 23 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
OFFICIAL JAE CROWDER HAIR STATUS: Jae Crowder’s hair looks just as soft and cuddly as ever. Its status as the pillowiest and lushest set of dreadlocks in the league remains unchallenged. There is no hair softer in the organization. It’s like a pile of furry black snakes on his head, but instead of venom, they’re…
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