Jonas Valanciunas Watches TV

Jonas Valanciunas 22 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)

Jonas Valanciunas sat eagerly on his couch, waiting for the match to begin. Snacks and beverages of unbelievable variety were spread on the table before him; he reached over and grabbed a box of Oreos before slamming them into his face five at a time. Arvydas, his cat, stretched up from his spot next to…

Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (10/28/2015)

Jonas Valanciunas sat on his couch, dozens upon dozens of throw pillows scattered upon the cushions. He had achieved optimal comfiness levels by augmenting the pillows with a soft blanket and a twelve-pack of Heineken, but these material comforts shed no light on the action that was unfolding on his TV screen. “You have to…

Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2015)

Jonas Valanciunas stared at his TV in confusion. A smorgasbord of snacks lay forgotten on the coffee table in front of him; tortilla chips, buffalo wings, and mini red velvet muffins alike went uneaten as the large Lithuanian struggled to comprehend the onscreen action. His fifty-inch plasma TV displayed a scene of utter chaos as…

Jonas Valanciunas Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2015)

Jonas Valanciunas had grown to like the sport of American football. He still did not understand the nuances of the game, or, for that matter, any but the most basic aspects of the game at all. That was okay with him. Sports weren’t about deep analysis and careful scrutiny. They were about having fun and…

Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2015)

It was television time once again in the Valanciunas apartment. Taking up his usual spot on the couch with his cat, Arvydas, purring happily next to him, he enswathed himself in blankets and cracked open the first beer. ESPN was playing on the TV; he hoped to catch some highlights of the NFL playoff games…

Jonas Valanciunas 17 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Jonas Valanciunas had settled in, as he often did, for a night of TV watching. His head was the only visible part of his body, as he was swathed entirely in a handmade quilt from his native Lithuania. The newly-acquired flat screen TV in front of him was a significant step up from the Soviet…

Jonas Valanciunas Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2014)

Jonas Valanciunas was doing what he did almost every off-night: Sitting in front of his TV encased in a cocoon of blanket-and-cushion construction, with his coffee table littered with snacks and beverages of the alcoholic type. Tonight was the big game, and he was watching with intentness, though not much happiness. “Are you serious? Are…

Jonas Valanciunas 22 Points Full Highlights (4/4/2014)

Jonas sat silently in his darkened living room, watching the flickering television with rapt attention. In front of him was spread a feast suitable for the viewing of a season finale, but since the final episode of “How I Met Your Mother” had started, none of the snacks had been touched. Mango smoothies and pretzel…

Jonas Valanciunas 18 Points Full Highlights (2/21/2014)

Jonas Valanciunas sat on his ratty old couch, huddled up in blankets, closely shaven head peeking out like a meerkat from its hole. His heater had gone out again, and the Canadian winter was harsh and unforgiving. His television, however, was still in perfect working order, and it cast a bluish-white glow over the otherwise…

Jonas Valanciunas 20 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2014)

Jonas Valanciunas sat in front of his glowing TV in the otherwise darkened studio apartment. Arrayed on the table in front of him were a myriad of snack items: cheez doodlez, nacho chips with assorted dips, and an untouched assortment of traditional Lithuanian baked goods courtesy of his mother. The only evidence that they had…