Jonas Valanciunas – Page 6

Jonas Valanciunas 24 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2016)

Jonas Valanciunas is straight gangstering so far in these playoffs. Fifteen and twelve on good percentages? Those are pretty much the numbers that you’d see in a theoretical definition for “straight gangstering”. Unfortunately, a certain pair of unnamed “chuck bros” again cost their team the win with their poor shooting, poor passing, and overall poor…

Jonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (4/18/2016)

Attention Raptors fans/Lithuanians: you were not alone in your assumption, formed at halftime, that Jonas Valanciunas would score 40 tonight. DownToBuck thought the same, incapable as he is of understanding that first-half performances don’t indicate much about second-half performances. Jonas looked unstoppable out there in the first half. The post touches he was promised were…

Jonas Valanciunas 20 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/22/2016)

There is a rumor out there that the Raptors turned down a deal centered (heh) around Dwight Howard and Jonas Valanciunas. Not knowing the other parts of the trade, it’s impossible to say whether they made the right move or not. In any case, do you get rid of a guy who needs touches but…

Jonas Valanciunas 20 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2016)

In my last Jonas Valanciunas video I invited my viewers to take part in a quiz of my own invention. The description of that video contained these words: “Leave your answer in the comments section and be aware that if even one person answers incorrectly, I will never again post a Jonas Valanciunas video to…

Jonas Valanciunas 19 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2016)

Quick quiz: in what way has Raptors coach Dwayne Casey affected Jonas Valanciunas’ development? A) He has not affected it because coaches are meaningless in the NBA B) He has allowed Valanciunas to flourish by putting him in the game during crunch time C) He has absolutely stunted Valanciunas’ growth as a player and will…

Jonas Valanciunas 22 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)

Jonas Valanciunas sat eagerly on his couch, waiting for the match to begin. Snacks and beverages of unbelievable variety were spread on the table before him; he reached over and grabbed a box of Oreos before slamming them into his face five at a time. Arvydas, his cat, stretched up from his spot next to…

Jonas Valanciunas 20 Points Full Highlights (11/13/2015)

I haven’t heard as many complaints about Jonas Valanciunas this year from Raptors’ fans. I haven’t noticed any great improvement in his game so far this season, but I can think of a good reason why that would be. Once the Toronto faithful saw the horrors of Bismack Biyombo’s offense, I’m sure anything else would…

Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (10/28/2015)

Jonas Valanciunas sat on his couch, dozens upon dozens of throw pillows scattered upon the cushions. He had achieved optimal comfiness levels by augmenting the pillows with a soft blanket and a twelve-pack of Heineken, but these material comforts shed no light on the action that was unfolding on his TV screen. “You have to…

Jonas Valanciunas 21 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2015)

Jonas Valanciunas stared at his TV in confusion. A smorgasbord of snacks lay forgotten on the coffee table in front of him; tortilla chips, buffalo wings, and mini red velvet muffins alike went uneaten as the large Lithuanian struggled to comprehend the onscreen action. His fifty-inch plasma TV displayed a scene of utter chaos as…