Los Angeles Clippers – Page 29

Darren Collison 20 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (3/10/2014)

Darren Collison patiently fielded questions from reporters after the game. Most of the questions were astounding in their banality, the same questions that every player was asked after every game. Now, yet another no-name hack was asking him another one. “How do you feel about your four assists this game? Were you looking for your…

Hedo Turkoglu 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (2/24/2014)

Hedo Turkoglu sat on the edge of his bathtub, syringe in hand. “More ‘roids! I need more ‘roids!” he shouted, plunging the needle deep into an arm already marked with hundreds of needle-holes. “I will come back to the NBA stronger, better than ever!” Jose, Hedo’s supplier, looked on sadly. “Hey man, you might wanna…

Matt Barnes 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/23/2014)

Matt “Born in a” Barnes looks like a Mexican drug lord. This is a fact, and as such, cannot be disputed. He also has one of the most hittable mugs in the league. This, too, is a concrete, immutable fact. But there are things about him that are still up in the air. Is he…

DeAndre Jordan 16 Points/7 Dunks/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/20/2014)

DeAndre Jordan is proving NBA haters wrong. It is, in fact, possible to succeed in the NBA simply by being really tall and really athletic. Fundamentals don’t exist in DeAndre’s world. Free Throws? Nah. Just run and jump and flail your arms. The recipe for NBA success. I’m not hating or anything. He’s a fun…

Matt Barnes 25 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2014)

Matt Barnes is a paradox. His existence makes crumble the confining walls of reality to release the whirling vortex of the omni-vacuum. Such a being should not be allowed to exist, for it looks upon the orderly rules of nature and scoffs at them, demeans them in the most obscene way possible. A man cursed…

DeAndre Jordan 14 Points/5 Dunks/8 Blocks Full Highlights (1/6/2014)

The spaceship coasted silently in a particularly empty region of the Virgo cluster, fresh off an excursion to Thaul-Ratos. “Those Ratosians sure don’t appreciate our efforts”, Porgon 18-F remarked as she tended the ionization wounds to her 4th and 5th ancillary appendages. Pilot Kronbub 32-C expressed his unconcern with a dismissal flap of his cranial…

Jared Dudley 20 Points/6 Threes/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/1/2014)

DownToBuck is a man of many talents. Rapper, music producer, video editor, writer. But it is time to reveal one of my other talents: TV show production! I’m trying to put together a proposal for a show called “Jared Dudley’s Cornrows A-No-No”. The basic premise is that Jared visits people who have ugly cornrows and…

Darren Collison 18 Points Full Highlights (12/22/2013)

Is Darren Collison good? It seems that he’s always getting shuffled around. Fanbases get excited that they now have a “real” point guard, and then by the end of the year they hate him. I don’t get it. He seems fine to me. But he got traded for Ian Mahinmi. That’s not a good portent….

Jamal Crawford 27 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/21/2013)

When I meet a prospective friend for the first time, I need to have a quick way to determine if they are worthy of my friendship. After experimenting with different topics, I found the perfect question to weed out the unworthy. “Would you consider Jamal Crawford to be, on the whole, a good NBA player?”…

Jared Dudley 21 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2013)

Jared “The Duder” Dudley’s role has been reduced to “just a guy who shoots open jumpshots”. It seems every shot he takes is a cleanly set-up J from Chris Paul. He hasn’t been altogether successful at hitting them, considering how open he’s been, but that’s okay. The Clippers don’t need him to be especially good…