If you come away unfulfilled after watching these highlights, don’t blame me. I did my best with the limited tools at my disposal. 14 points in 8 minutes would not end up in a video if it happened during the regular season. But this is the playoffs, the playoffs where role-players are not ever having…
Read MoreTag: Marreese Speights
Marreese Speights 22 Points Full Highlights (4/21/2016)
I’ve been holding this one close to my chest. My most audacious and trailblazing nickname creation yet. The time has now come to reveal this new nickname to the world and, in doing so, introduce an entirely new way to refer to Marreese Speights in conversation. “Flying Speighetti Monster” I know, I know. I’m a…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 17 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2016)
“Yo, Andrew, I got a really weird question to ask you,” said Marreese Speights, walking up to the tall Australian in the locker room. “Weird questions are my specialty,” replied Andrew. “Ask away.” Marreese paused while he tried to figure out how to phrase his question delicately. That proved too much of a challenge, so…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 25 Points Full Highlights (3/12/2016)
What happened to the Maarreeesseeee Speights of last season? I remember being pissed that he kept having good games and I kept having to do highlights; now it’s an exciting occurrence if he even scores 12. I want to make fun of that thing on his head, god dammit. Is that why he’s not playing…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 16 Points Full Highlights (3/9/2016)
Driving home from a well-earned win over the Jazz, Marreese Speights was struck by a sudden wave of nausea. Its passing was as quick as its onset, and he shrugged it off to perhaps that funny-looking pineapple that had been provided in the locker room. To attribute the nausea to other causes…he didn’t want to…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 18 Points Full Highlights (1/7/2015)
Standing in the huddle during a timeout, Marreese Speights listened intently to his coach. There was still a lot of time left, and they needed to make a focused effort to regroup. Suddenly, a sharp pain exploded through Marreese’s head. He clutched at the apparent source, the bump on the top of his shaved head….
Read MoreMarreese Speights 26 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2015)
Okay, here’s one for you: should Speights be the permanent starter over Bogut, even when Bogut’s fragile body heals itself to the point where he can play? I hear your laughter from here and it displeases me. Sure, the defense would suffer, because Speights doesn’t have the same defensive instincts, but there’s a saying: “Offense…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 23 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (12/30/2014)
“This is a good idea. It’s economically viable and it’s fully in tune with the demands of the market,” Marreese Speights said in his best “fancy” voice, sitting in a suit across from a banker who was also wearing a suit. He slid a folder of papers across the desk. “My business plan is flawless,…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 27 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2014)
The world has run out of adjectives to describe Marreese Speights’ performance this year. What was once assumed to be a practically limitless resource has been overconsumed so badly that the only words I have left to use are “sopping”, “rubicund”, and “alternative-lifestyle-friendly”. I don’t know about you, but if I were a dude who…
Read MoreMarreese Speights 28 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2014)
The lexicon of basketball is ever-growing. From early entries like “layup” to recent neologisms like “3 and D guy”, the vocabulary of the game is both a look into the past and a snapshot of the present. Humbly, I’d like to present my own term for inclusion into the Dictionary of Ball: “Speightsing” This daring…
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