It seems like so long ago that the Kings signed James Johnson to be a core member of their lineup and then he totally stank it up for them, garnering negative win-shares and having his already-iffy jumpshoot ability completely sapped out of him like he got surprise-attacked by the Monstars. Then Memphis reclaimed him, and,…
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Bam Adebayo 15 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/2/2018)
Watching Bam Adebayo highlight videos just isn’t the same if there’s no Eric Reid describing every one of his slam dunks as a “Bam Slam” while Tony Fiorentino goes “oh man”. Since I found the Adebayo Experience to be so lackluster without those two providing the commentary, I had to provide my own commentary. I…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/25/2018)
Damn, those alternate Heat jerseys are sick. They did their market research on this one for sure; the younger generations love that whole retro-80’s-neon-vintage-palmtrees-Miami-Vice-lasers-pink-teal-synth aesthetic. I don’t know if I’d call it vaporwave exactly, but if it isn’t, it takes a ton of cues from it. I would 100 percent be in favor of them…
Read MoreJames Johnson 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/20/2018)
13 points in 33 seconds? What about… 5 points in 5 seconds? T-Mac, hold this L. James Johnson’s points/seconds ratio makes yours look like Joel Anthony. Johnson may not have directly won his team the game (thanks Olynyk for making that free throw!), but he was the driving force. Johnson’s late outburst was just the…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 26 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/20/2018)
Wayne Ellington is one of about 20 players this year (including all those scrubs who played like 20 minutes in garbage time) attempting at least 10 threes per 36 minutes. That seems like a whole ton of threes, and it is. Just a few years ago, he’d be number one in that category, but nowadays…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 20 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2018)
I love living in a world where Wayne “Beef W” Ellington has made more three-pointers than Steph Curry. True, Curry has played in thirteen fewer games, and, true, Curry will probably catch up at some point anyway, but just being able to say “Wayne Ellington is a better three-point shooter than Steph Curry” and technically…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 21 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/15/2018)
If you are wondering if this is a career-high in assists for Kelly Olynyk, yes it is. If you weren’t wondering that, it is as well. Doesn’t make a difference if you were wondering or not, he’s never gotten more assists than this in a single game and there’s a chance this record will stand…
Read MoreBam Adebayo 16 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (1/9/2018)
You want to know who never put up a game of 16 points, 15 rebounds, and 5 blocks in their rookie season? A lot of players, but most pertinently for this description, Dwight Howard. Unlike the last time I showed a stat and then claimed rookie Dwight never got it, I was lying to prove…
Read MoreMichael Beasley 20 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
Why are human ankles so fragile? It seems like evolution should’ve provided us with something a little more sturdy by now. And if you’re one of those nutsos who doesn’t believe in evolution, then your god has some stuff to answer to. Like why he designed us to have a flimsy piece of crap connecting…
Read MoreWayne Ellington 24 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)
When Wayne Ellington scores, the Heat win. When he doesn’t, the Heat lose. Simple. Three points or fewer from the man with the golden arm, the Heat haven’t won a game this season out of 8 tries. The conclusion here is simple: make sure Ellington is warmed up properly before the game, has had his…
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