Larry Sanders is a valuable player for the Bucks. He anchors their unexpectedly decent defense, and has goggles which look really rad. He might be crazy, but he brings energy to Milwaukee that they need. The only problem is that energy manifests itself as tons of fouls. He hasn’t helped his case by getting on…
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Giannis Antetokounmpo 20 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/13/2014)
Giannis screamed. Lying, shivering, in the snowbank, he had no energy left to resist. The hooded figure approached him silently, no face visible beneath a robe made of some dark material, blacker than the deepest black. Once the apparition had reached where Giannis lay, he raised his hand in a beckon to be silent. “Don’t…
Read MoreJabari Parker 15 Points Full Highlights (12/9/2014)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled description to bring you this very important update: Jabari Parker needs more touches in the second half of games. Every game it’s the same story: he starts off well, scoring a couple buckets early. Then his touches start dwindling, he gets benched for a while, and he never regains his…
Read MoreJabari Parker 14 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
The unforgiving madness of “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity” continued without end. Naked except for his undies, Jabari Parker worked on the sixth of ten uncooked bratwurst sausages which he was supposed to consume. He was fairly certain that he would not win this contest; Giannis had already finished the brats, and was on the second…
Read MoreKendall Marshall Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
The Milwaukee Bucks rotation is super crowded this year. Unlike most teams, the starters are about as good as the bench, in fact almost the entire roster 1-13 is roughly equal in quality. That means that there are some peeps who should probably be getting minutes but aren’t. Kendall Marshall is one of those peeps….
Read MoreKhris Middleton 21 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2014)
Khris Middleton’s numbers have regressed from last season. Bucks fans attempt to attribute it to him trying to do too much on the court, but I know the real reason. I know it because I have inside sources in the Bucks front office, namely me disguised as a vending machine in the GM’s office. Let’s…
Read MoreBrandon Knight 27 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
The Cavaliers’ scorekeepers must have realized that Brandon Knight hasn’t been getting a whole ton of assists this year, because they were giving him some ridiculous ones. Passing it around the perimeter to OJ Mayo, watching him take two stationary dribbles, then driving to the basket using two more bounces should never count as an…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 14 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
Giannis ran. The bratwursts had taken their toll on his body and mind. His shambling gait reflected none of the grace that was normally ever-present in his movements. Every step brought with it new pains of agony. “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity” had entered its second portion, which consisted of participants running around the Bradley Center…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 18 Points Full Highlights (11/29/14)
Ersan Ilyasova is doing Ilyasova things so far this season. Namely, starting off really badly and then improving as the season goes along. Does this dude just not work out at all during the summer? He didn’t even have the “Gotta play for my national team, Egemenlik, kayıtsız şartsız Milletindir” excuse this year. Anyway, his…
Read MoreLarry Sanders 15 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (11/26/2014)
This is what happens when Larry gets his head on straight for an entire game. Actually, that’s a misleading statement. This is what happens when Larry is focused, and simultaneously, he is playing against a young team missing a lot of players. I mean, what’s Robbie Hummel going to do when the Colonel rolls into…
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