I am beset by rage now. I was led, nay, DECEIVED, into the creation of this video by FALSITIES and LIES. Juan Hernangomez, the target of my fury, is comfortably flying away from Toronto in the Timberwolves’ private jet, waited on by beautiful maidens known as “stewardesses” while I toil away in squalid poverty, alone…
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James Johnson 15 Points/5 Assists Timberwolves Debut Full Highlights (2/8/2020)
Behold, the power of friendship! Karl-Anthony Towns and D’Angelo Russell are basically the two best bros in the whole NBA, and the strength of their bond overcame whatever feeble bonds the Clippers have (at this point, the bonding that is going on over there is attempting to bond fists with faces). Russell didn’t even need…
Read MoreMalik Beasley 23 Points/7 Threes Timberwolves Debut Full Highlights (2/8/2020)
This performance for Malik Beasley in his first game donning the Timberwolves’ highlighter green and navy blue should come as no surprise for the true, devoted Malik Beasley acolytes out there. Beasley was doing things like this basically ALL of a last season for the Nuggets. Then their roster changed, they had too many good…
Read MoreJordan McLaughlin Career High 24 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (2/8/2020)
After the Clippers got their rear rends decisively handed to them by Jordan McLaughlin, Malik Beasley, and the rest of the Timberwolves’ hastily-assembled squad of scrublords, how do you think their star players are reacting? Kawhi Leonard: Currently conferring with his uncle on how to fake another injury to force another trade. Not reporting to…
Read MoreJordan McLaughlin 15 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/5/2020)
In the intervening hours between when Jordan McLaughlin had this performance and when I uploaded the video depicting the performance, a lot of weird stuff happened with the Timberwolves. The weirdest being the long-awaited departure of Andrew Wiggins. Witness in this video a few of his very last buckets (but not his absolute last, sadly)…
Read MoreJosh Okogie 23 Points Full Highlights (2/5/2020)
The Timberwolves recently moved a whole bunch of players in order to acquire a whole bunch of other players from, like, three other teams. IN THE SAME TRADE. Some picks went zipping around as well. I’ve totally lost track of what exactly happened, if I ever knew at all, but one thing I know for…
Read MoreShabazz Napier 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/3/2020)
I thought THE WHOLE POINT of trading away Jeff Teague was so that Jarrett Culver could get a ton of burn at point guard in this lost season for the Timberwolves. The other part of the plan was to allow Andrew Wiggins to initiate more of the offense himself. The plan was not to have…
Read MoreRobert Covington 24 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2020)
Things were looking good for the Timberwolves in this game. They held an eighteen-point lead over the Kings at halftime, with Robert Covington contributing eighteen points of his own, meaning that even without Covington’s considerable contributions, the game still would have been tied at that point. The lead eventually extended to a maximum of 24…
Read MoreShabazz Napier Triple Double 10 Pts/10 Rebs/13 Asts Full Highlights (1/25/2020)
Shabazz Napier opened his eyes, and when he saw what was waiting for him beyond his newly-opened eyelids, his immediate thought was that his physical safety was in danger. He was sitting by himself in the booth of a ratty, dirty fast-food restaurant. Wherever it was, it was not in a good part of the…
Read MoreJosh Okogie 17 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2020)
Until Giannis Adetokunbo (note the authentic spelling) mans up and embraces his Nigerian heritage, Josh Okogie is Nigeria’s best hope for an NBA superstar. What, you think Al-Farouq Aminu is the better choice? I’d rather have Ime Udoka than him. Current Udoka, mind you. And what’s Solomon Alabi up to these days, anyway? I’d take…
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