Norris Cole slept soundly in his bed. So deep was his sleep that even a clumsy, noisy intruder invading his bedroom did not cause him to stir… Iman Shumpert furtively shined a dim flashlight at Norris’ head. When the beam of light caught Norris’ hair, Iman sighed with a mixture of pleasure and frustration and…
Read MoreTag: New Orleans Pelicans
Tyreke Evans 27 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (12/11/2015)
Tyreke Evans was the man who robbed Stephen Curry of his rightful Rookie of the Year award. The voters were too blinded by his raw stats to even notice a burgeoning beast in Golden State. This mistake can not be rectified; Tyreke’s name will forever be etched in the runestone of ROY winners, immutable. There…
Read MoreIsh Smith 20 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/25/2015)
Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I’d like to take a minute Just sit and watch I’ll tell you how aliens replaced Ish Smith with Steve Nash Southern Wisconsin born and raised On the internet was where I spent most of my days Posting YouTube highlights…
Read MoreIsh Smith 17 Points/13 Assists Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
More god damn Ish Smith highlights. I am now one-hundred percent convinced that aliens abducted Ish Smith and Steve Nash, took all the basketball skills out of Nash and put them into Smith, and sent them both back to Earth so that the Pelicans could make the playoffs and Ish could be an All-Star. It’s…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 30 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
The Voodoo Queen’s dying screams finally subsided, and as they did, Ryan felt his mind clear, as if freed from the oppressive presence of a foreign consciousness. That was strange, he thought, because if the Queen had been controlling his thoughts, and he had just killed her… “That was some pretty good aim, dog,” Devonte…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 30 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2015)
THE STORY SO FAR: Ryan Anderson, guided by some malicious inner voice, builds an arm-mounted flamethrower with which he incinerates all of his teammates. Returning back to his apartment, he sees a name stamped on the device. The Smoothie King is the one who has taken control of his mind! Simultaneously, Ryan is cornered by…
Read MoreIsh Smith 18 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (11/11/2015)
I don’t want to make any more Ish Smith highlights. You don’t want to watch any more Ish Smith highlights. So how did we get into the scenario where both you and I consume/create Ish Smith highlights against our will? I have a very comprehensive theory for what could (I say could, but I feel…
Read MoreEric Gordon 26 Points Full Highlights (11/11/2015)
Now THIS is more like it! Eric Gordon scoring a mere 21 points is lame. Eric Gordon scoring 26 points, however, is a spectacle worthy of a highlight video. With the Pelicans’ best players all resting their booties on the bench for one reason or another (Holiday, Davis, Evans), Eric Gordon channeled his pre-injury, Clippers-era…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 25 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2015)
In honor of the recently passed DawkIns, please view this video only in conjunction with the “Justin Anderson 11 Points Full Highlights” vid I just uploaded. I’m not one to make battle highlights, but I bet if you played them one right after another, or better yet, at the same time, you’d end up with…
Read MoreEric Gordon 21 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Why can’t the Pelicans win a game? They’re 0-6 right now even with Anthony Davis beasting. Here’s a list I came up with which is entitled “DTB’s List of Reasons Why the Pelicans Can’t Win a Game”: -Tyreke Evans is trapped under a mountain of beads on Bourbon Street -Anthony Davis shoots too many threes…
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