“You did WHAT?” J.J. Redick smiled apologetically. “It’s not a big deal. Voodoo’s just a bunch of phony baloney anyway, so it’s not like that lady’s gonna cast a curse on me for stealing her potions.” “But you believed in voodoo enough to steal the potions in the first place,” Zion Williamson pointed out. “J.J.,…
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J.J. Redick All 240 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation Part I)
J.J. Redick nervously drove down streets in a New Orleans neighborhood that he had never been to before. The small houses lining the streets ranged from “dilapidated” to “unfit for human occupation”. He wondered why he had elected to make this trip at night when everything seemed ten times as unsafe. Distant and not-so-distant police…
Read MoreBen Simmons All 17 Jumpers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Jumperilation)
Heading into the 2019-20 NBA season (which is really coming up super fast oh my god where did the offseason go help I have so many more -ilations to upload), there is a lot of speculation on the state of Ben Simmons’ jumper. There is mystery. There is intrigue. There are articles featuring many dozens…
Read MoreLandry Shamet All 167 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation)
Shooting shot after shot in the Clippers’ practice gym, Landry Shamet couldn’t help but notice that one of his teammates, Montrezl Harrell, was staring at him. As far as Landry could tell, he wasn’t doing anything particularly noteworthy; certainly nothing that was worth being stared at. His clothes were normal, his hair looked the same…
Read MoreBen Simmons All 133 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Ben Simmons furtively looked over his shoulder as he typed in his YouTube search term, then felt silly for doing so. In the privacy of his apartment, nobody would know what deviant YouTube videos he was seeking out. After a quick pause of contemplation, Ben appended two words to the end of his search. It…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic All 160 Field Goals Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Bucketilation)
Boban Marjanovic stood at his gate in Philadelphia International Airport, keeping an eye on the long airport down which hundreds of travelers were coming and going. Vaguely, he could feel the stares of his fellow Dallas-bound passengers on him. He wished he could sit down to reduce his apparent height, but none of the seats…
Read MoreMarkelle Fultz All 65 Field Goals Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Bucketilation)
“Thanks for inviting me to come work out with you,” Markelle Fultz said to his teammate Joel Embiid. “I know I haven’t been around the team much so it means a lot that you still want to, like, include me.” Joel looked up from his phone. “Trust me, I know what it’s like to be…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 16 Points Full Highlights (4/15/2019)
Boban Marjanovic just demonstrated to Jarrett Allen why you can’t give Marjanovic any space when he’s got the ball: he’ll just shoot a midrange jumper (after making sure for five seconds that nobody’s going to come defend him first). We’ve known since his rookie season with the Spurs that Boban has some midrange shooting ability,…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 13 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (4/13/2019)
The Philly Phaithful spent a considerable amount of their time in this game booing their own team. Given that certain players on the team didn’t quite play up to expectations, I don’t disagree with the boos. Boos will never make a team play better, but they’ll make the fans feel better, and since basketball is…
Read MoreJonathon Simmons 20 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
With the other Simmons sitting out, Jonathon Simmons did his best impersonation, putting up a 20/7/5 statline that definitely feels like something Ben Simmons would do. The only problem was, he hit way too many threes. Ben still hasn’t hit one, but Jonathon forgot that fact (probably was remembering all the practice footage we’ve seen…
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