Story – Page 125 – DownToBuck

Mike Dunleavy 23 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

Mike Dunleavy, in the least combative manner possible, walked up to teammate Taj Gibson after the game. He began awkwardly, “Listen, Taj, Booz just gave me the rundown on the whole situation. If I had known you were in the game, I definitely would never have porked Caroline.” Giving him a dirty look, Taj responded,…

Patrick Patterson 18 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

“I’m going to need to take a little break here, Patrick. Nature calls,” said Kings GM Pete D’Alessandro, interrupting the meeting with his player. As D’Alessandro left the room to make a visit to his personal toilet, Patrick Patterson twiddled his thumbs idly. The phone on the desk rang. Patrick stared at it for a…

Ryan Anderson 31 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

Ryan Anderson crept stealthily through the unlit halls of Madison Square Garden, making his way to the court. He had encountered surprisingly little resistance, aside from the security guard on the roof. The Garden was very confusing in the total darkness. After several wrong turns and excursions into bathrooms and concessions areas, Anderson found the…

DeMarcus Cousins 24 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

At the end of last season, I detailed a visit to DeMarcus by none other than the Basketball Fairy, who granted him three wishes. DeMarcus used his wishes on a nacho cheese-dispensing shower, cupboards containing infinite tortilla chips, and a change to his personality so that he was no longer a team cancer. How are…

Brandon Knight 19 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/30/2013)

In the darkness of his bedroom, Brandon Knight furtively scrolled through her pictures on Facebook. Stopping on each one, he scanned the screen carefully, his eye stopping wherever a bit of exposed flesh, however small, was visible. On occasion, he got a tantalizing view of cleavage, or even better, a full shot of her seemingly-infinite…

Dion Waiters 20 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2013)

There are some rumors swirling around that Dion Waiters fought Kyrie Irving during a players’ only meeting. As in, punches were thrown. Nobody knows exactly what happened…nobody except DownToBuck. I had three people planted in the locker room at the time of the meeting (one in a trash can, one in an air duct, and…

Glen Davis 19 Points/1 Carved Turkey Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

“Glenny boy! I’m so glad you made it home for Thanksgiving!” gushed Glen’s mom, rushing over for a big hug. “I’m afraid the group’s a bit smaller than usual, but I still made all the fixin’s!” Glen smiled into his mother’s embrace. “I’ve been missin’ your cookin’ ever since I got drafted, ma. I could…

Francisco Garcia 21 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

“Hey, great game Francisco,” James Harden said after the game. “It must be really cool to play so close to your home fans in Mexico.” Francisco looked irritated. “Dude, I’m from the Dominican Republic. Not Mexico.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever, same thing. Listen, my mom is looking for a great enchilada recipe to impress some guests,…

Channing Frye 25 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

The klaxons went off without warning, startling Channing out of his cryo-sleep. The computer’s voice, usually a pleasant female tone, now bellowed in the manner of a drill sergeant: “CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! ALIENS ABOARD THE SHIP! ALL PERSONNEL TO REPORT TO CENTRAL BAY FOR INSTRUCTIONS! CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE!” If Channing hadn’t already been…

Samuel Dalembert 18 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

“Sam, that was a good practice. I liked your hustle out there,” Rick Carlisle told his player. “I like seeing you putting in the effort towards improving your help defense.” Samuel Dalembert smiled. “Thanks coach.” “There’s just one thing. The assistants and I agree that you could stand to lose some weight.” Sam sighed. Coach…