The voice of Gregg Popovich emanated from beneath a druid cloak. “Let the ceremony commence.” Danny Green, strapped to the center of a rough-hewn wooden platform, wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. Was this what they always did to their newly signed players? Was the pentagram really necessary? Why was a sick purple light…
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Quincy Pondexter Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (5/27/2013)
“Hey Quincy!” The large forward turned around to see a group of fans waving at him. One of them, a pudgy, smartly-dressed man, seemed to be the one who had addressed him. “Sucks that you guys lost, but you wanna come grab some barbecue with us?” Quincy was not one to turn down a fan….
Read MoreLance Stephenson Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (5/18/2013)
“Lance…Laaance…” Lance Stephenson awoke with a start. Had somebody been calling his name, or had that been part of his dream? He was just about to fall back asleep when he heard it again. “Lance…I’m down here, Lance.” Lance felt his heart rate jump. Unless he was losing his marbles, there was a voice emanating…
Read MoreTiago Splitter 14 Points Full Highlights (5/17/2013)
“Hello, welcome to Tiago’s Banana Splitters, what can I get for you today?” “I’d like one standard splitter please, with double banana.” “Coming right up.” A tall, stubbled figure shambled through the door of the small, shoddily decorated restaurant. “I’ll have 50 of those famous Tiago’s banana splitters, and hurry up I’m in a rush!”…
Read MoreIman Shumpert 15 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2013)
“So that’s the game plan for tonight. Does that sound good?” The team looked happily at each one another. But sitting in the corner of the locker room by himself, sulking and draped in a towel, Carmelo Anthony spoke up. “Yeah, I gots a problem. Where’s all the Melo isos? You talkin’ all about ball…
Read MoreDerek Fisher 19 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2013)
“Hello, this is Grand Commissioner Stern.” Scott Brooks closed his eyes, steeling himself for the confrontation to come. “Commissioner, this is operative 26. I fear I have made a grave mistake.” “Continue.” “Our basketball unit recently acquired a new player, a man by the name of Derek Fisher. There is no room for him in…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (5/2/2013)
I love Tom Thibodeau. His rotations are so ridiculous. Marco Belinelli played four minutes in game four of this series, but due to Luol Deng’s “flu-like symptoms” (code term for too much partying), Marco played forty minutes last night. And here’s something crazier: Derrick Rose is totally healthy, but Thibodeau didn’t even play him one…
Read MoreDraymond Green Career High 16 Points/10 Rebounds Full Highlights (5/2/2013)
“911, what is your emergency?” Draymond almost couldn’t hold in his laughter. “Yo lady, we got a fire here at Oracle Arena, send some firemen down here quick!” “Okay sir, could I have your name?” “Yeah, It’s Draymond.” His teammates were gathered around, giggling. “Okay Draymond, before we send a crew down there, tell me…
Read MoreKlay Thompson 19 Points Full Highlights (4/30/2013)
“Hey Steph, you know, this doesn’t seem like a great idea.” “Shut up Klay. I can’t remember who broke the NBA record for made threes this year, maybe you could remind me?” “You did. That doesn’t change the fact that this is a bad idea, even by your standards. My hieroglyph-parsing skills are diminished since…
Read MoreKyle Korver 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/29/2013)
“Dear Ashton Kutcher, My name is Abby and I am your biggest fan. I even started a fan club at my middle school! My email address is abbyheartsashton@hotmail.com in case you want to chat some more! XOXO -Abby” Kyle Korver crumpled up the misguided fan mail and lobbed it into his recycling bin. “When will…
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