Shooting shot after shot in the Clippers’ practice gym, Landry Shamet couldn’t help but notice that one of his teammates, Montrezl Harrell, was staring at him. As far as Landry could tell, he wasn’t doing anything particularly noteworthy; certainly nothing that was worth being stared at. His clothes were normal, his hair looked the same…
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Kemba Walker All 260 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation Part II)
Sunlight filtering through the blinds woke Kemba up earlier than he wanted. Putting “acquire blackout shades” on his mental list of around-the-house projects that he would need to complete sometime, he blearily reached for his phone to check his messages. He had plenty of messages, both from old teammates as well as a few of…
Read MoreKemba Walker All 260 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation Part I)
“This is our new practice facility,” said Celtics GM Danny Ainge as he led his newest acquisition through the front door of the Auerbach Center. “Just opened last year. Only the finest amenities.” Kemba Walker wondered why Danny was seemingly so focused on trying to impress him. The sign-and-trade had already happened. There was no…
Read MoreDirk Nowitzki All 135 Field Goals Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Bucketilation)
The tall German man stood uncertainly at the head of the vast aisle of freezer units which extended in front of him. Despite being much taller than his wife, his fearful demeanor made it seem as if he was cowering behind her like a child, even though he was just standing behind her normally. “I’m…
Read MoreMontrezl Harrell All 201 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Montrezl Harrell sat at the dinner party hosted by Clippers owner Steve Ballmer and tried to focus on making a good impression for new teammates Paul George and Kawhi Leonard. That meant taking dainty bites of the lasagna and chewing them to completion before taking another, rather than scarfing down the entire plate in a…
Read MoreKelly Oubre All 70 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Staring in frustration at the empty pad of paper in front of him, Kelly Oubre wondered why he had completely failed to brainstorm any ideas for his struggling web series, Wave Papi’s Man-Overs. The first few episodes had been modest successes, but only because of his own status as a professional athlete. His reach into…
Read MoreJarrett Allen All 170 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
“Do you need help finding anything?” Jarrett Allen realized that he had been standing slack-jawed at the front of the computer components section of Micro Center for at least a minute. The sheer amount of PC hardware in front of him had stunned him; now the employee thought he was some overwhelmed millennial who could…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli All 147 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Three-ilation)
Journal Entry 9/1/2019: “Today I took up my position in Marco’s neighborhood. As fortune would have it, there is a foreclosed home directly across from his, allowing me easy surveillance at all hours of the day as long as I stay by the front windows. The utilities are disconnected, but I should be able to…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova All 57 Charges Taken Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Charge-ilation)
“Come on man, you can’t go to the beach looking like that.” Standing at his front door, Ersan Ilyasova shrugged. “You know, temperatures by the lakefront can be up to ten degrees colder than temperatures in the urban core. And if it is breezy, I do not want to get chilly.” Brook Lopez and Robin…
Read MoreMiles Bridges All 71 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Standing outside the door of the Hornets’ practice facility, Miles Bridges took a moment to compose himself. He was just returning from a two-month sojourn to the mountainous regions of western North Carolina, where he had reconnected with his inner self, attained a higher spiritual awareness, and, yes, worked on his game. Limiting himself to…
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