Rudy Gobert, clad in an all-black skinsuit, had to restrain a chuckle as he easily entered the night-darkened home of Adam Silver. The commissioner had clearly not been expecting home intrusions when he had left the windows of his living room swung open. Now, thanks to his lax security, Adam would pay the ultimate price….
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Brandon Jennings 18 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (1/29/2017)
Brandon Jennings quietly let himself into the Knicks’ practice facility. It was two in the morning, and he was the only one there. Not able to ignore the slightly creeped-out feeling he was getting from the deserted place, he navigated the dark hallways until he got to a room that, until now, he had never…
Read MoreAllen Crabbe 23 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/27/2017)
“Thanks for inviting me over for dinner,” C.J. McCollum said from the living room of Allen Crabbe’s apartment. “I was getting tired of getting delivery every night.” “No problem man. I just gotta share my culinary skills with the world,” Allen replied from the kitchen. He savored the sounds and smells of the sizzling beef…
Read MoreSteven Adams 20 Points/5 Dunks/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/25/2017)
Steven Adams sat in the locker room and stared at his shoes, which were sitting in his duffel bag. He knew there was some special way to put them on, something to do with the strings that were on them, but he couldn’t remember what. His brain felt cloudy and every time he felt close…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 20 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2017)
“Dear Diary, Today after we lost to the poopy 76ers, daddy was really mad. He told us that even though we don’t have Chris we need to play better. When he said that I almost started to cry because daddy always talks about Chris but when I play good he never tells me how good…
Read MoreJaVale McGee 13 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (1/22/2017)
JaVale McGee sighed contentedly as he watched the sphere of Earth recede in the window of the spaceship. He had finally escaped the drudgery of terrestrial existence, at the ripe age of 153. A century and a half toiling on Earth, where no adventure nor excitement awaited him, was all worth it, for now, he…
Read MoreMarquese Chriss 15 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2017)
This game between the Suns and Knicks at MSG was the perfect setting for some serious beef resolution to happen. Remember, Marquese Chriss and Kristaps Porzingis have been in the midst of a major beef (extra beefy please) ever since Chriss tackled Porzingis and threw him to the ground earlier in the season. They didn’t…
Read MoreRobert Covington 22 Points/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (1/20/2017)
“Hey T.J., do you think she’s gonna finally notice me after I hit that game winner?” Robert Covington asked his teammate T.J. McConnell. T.J. squinted his eyes in confusion. “Who’s ‘she’?” “Ariana Grande, duh,” Robert answered, as if his secret undisclosed crush was widely-known public knowledge. “She probably saw my cool demeanor after it went…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 20 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2017)
“Dear Diary, A few days ago that meanie Chris got injured again. He hurt his little baby thumb from sucking on it too much. Daddy said we all need to start playing extra good from now on but then I said we wouldn’t need to because I would be the point guard and I would…
Read MoreNikola Jokic Career High 35 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2017)
“Thanks for organizing this whole thing, Mike,” Nikola Jokic said to his teammate Mike Miller as they sat with the rest of their Nuggets teammates in a San Antonio nightclub. “This place is swarming with babes! Barkley was totally wrong when he implied that San Antonio chicks are ugly.” “I know, right?” Mike said, his…
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