DeAndre Jordan relaxed on his sofa, wondering idly if his other Clippers teammates had started their off-season training regimens yet. Mindlessly spooning Golden Grahams into his mouth, DeAndre decided they probably hadn’t. Except for Chris Paul. His doorbell rang. Not expecting any visitors, he looked down to make sure he had put on pants this…
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Larry Nance Jr. All 53 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
Larry Nance scrolled through the contacts list on his phone, up and down, up and down, trying to figure out which one of his numerous acquaintances would be able to help him. The hazy, bright late-spring morning outside his window only caused his yearning to grow, and he impatiently chose a name at the bottom…
Read MoreJaVale McGee All 49 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
The two tall men embraced in the terminal of Dallas/Fort Worth airport. The taller of the two was dressed in a baby blue tank top, extra-small green running shorts, a pink feather boa, and a top hat. The shorter was dressed in the same purple suit that he had been wearing when they had said…
Read MoreTim Duncan 19 Points/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (5/12/2016)
Tim Duncan awoke to find himself in an odd place populated only by a pervasive gray mist. He tentatively took a step forward and was relieved to find that he was standing on some kind of solid floor, even though he could see nothing below him but an extending void filled with the fog. He…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic All 105 Field Goals Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Bucketilation)
King Marjanovic sat in his private chambers, located at the top of the highest tower of the castle. From this high-up vantage point, the king could look out each of the room’s four windows in turn and be able to see nearly the full extent of his kingdom. Now taking the opportunity to so look,…
Read MoreAaron Gordon All 71 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
It was somewhat worrying, Aaron Gordon thought to himself, that he had somehow ended up thousands of miles away from Orlando without having any recollection as to how he had gotten there. However, this small amount of worry was utterly dwarfed by the simmering hatred that consumed his thoughts. He assessed the current situation. It…
Read MoreZach LaVine All 49 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
My fingers fly across the keyboard, executing a wide array of well-timed keyboard shortcuts with my left hand while my right expertly manipulates the mouse, furiously clicking and dragging, shaping and composing. The process is almost automatic, yet evident in my quick actions is a kind of hidden artistry that could never be replicated by…
Read MoreKris Humphries 12 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2016)
Coach Bud walked down to the end of the bench. “Kris. Kris! Hey, get ready to check in!” Kris Humphries did not react to his coach’s words in any way. He sat statuelike on the bench, blankly gazing forward. Play continued in front of him, but his eyes did not follow the action; instead, they…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 21 Points/8 Assists/1 Injury Full Highlights (4/29/2016)
“Daddy! I’m bleeding!” Austin Rivers wailed, clutching his face. “DADDY!!!!” But Doc Rivers sat impassively on the bench, not indicating in any way that he had heard his son’s cries. As trainers hustled over to where Austin lay, he remained in his seat. “Daddy?” Austin said hopefully as he saw a pair of feet walking…
Read MorePaul Millsap 45 Points Full Highlights (4/24/2016)
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” Paul Millsap stated, clad in nothing but a bear-fur speedo. He stared out towards the court from the tunnel with apprehension. Steve, the Hawks’ marketing coordinator, fidgeted with his tie. “Actually, if you want to get technical about it, I’m not making you do anything. Coach Bud…
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