“I’m so pumped that you decided to bring me along for your Christmas hijinks,” Nick Young said happily, riding shotgun in Timofey Mozgov’s brand-new Porsche. “Your late-night exploits have a reputation around the league, you know.” Timofey shrugged as he downed half a bottle of vodka. “In Russia, my antics barely arouse attention of police,…
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Timofey Mozgov 20 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2016)
In perusing my large collection of Timofey Mozgov closeups for the perfect thumbnail image, I’ve noticed something: Mozgov has the greyest eyes ever. They are greyer than grey. The are both gray and grey simultaneously. Unlike some special snowflakes who characterize their eye color as “hazel” or “green” (both being made-up colors), Mozgov’s are legit…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (6/11/2015)
Yeah, yeah, Timofey Mozgov gets a career high, Warriors tie the Finals at two apiece, whatever. Nobody cares. There’s bigger things to talk about. I’m talking about the Ersan Ilyasova trade if you couldn’t figure it out. Honestly, DTB is not too bummed about this development. From a basketball standpoint, Ilyasova was never going to…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 20 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2015)
Cavaliers’ record without Timofey Mozgov: 19-17. With Mozgov: 14-4. The defense rests, your honor. Cleveland may or may not have overpaid (alright let’s face it they drastically overpaid) for Mozgod’s services, but you cannot argue with results. He has filled a huge bear-shaped hole in the Cavaliers’ roster, with his defense and bigness. Unfortunately, we’ve…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 16 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2015)
“Yo Timofey, I heard from some of the guys around the league that you like to party real hard,” said Matthew Dellavadova. Timofey nodded. “Yes. I party in the Russian manner, and American consider it to be very extreme form of party.” Matthew puffed up a bit. “Well, down under, we do it a little…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 17 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights
“Hey Mozz, you got any plans for after the game?” asked Gary Harris, approaching a sweaty Timofey Mozgov in the locker room. “Some of the other guys said you’re a pretty wild dude.” Timofey’s stony look of tiredness broke into a large smile. “This is true, yes. I like to party in the Russian way….
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 22 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (4/9/2014)
Timofey Mozgov sat in the locker room, browsing NBA headlines on his phone. If he was being honest with himself, he was looking for stuff like “Mozgov leads Nuggets to victory,” but there wasn’t anything of that sort. There was, however, a story about Jonas Valanciunas’ recent DUI charges. As Timofey read the story, he…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 20 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (1/5/2014)
The discussion of Russian basketball players begins and ends with Arvydas Sabonis, a player who would have been Shaq-esque had he come over to the US in his prime. But wait! Sabonis is actually Lithuanian, and only played for the Soviet Union because, at that time, Lithuania was part of the USSR! So really, the…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 16 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (1/3/2014)
“Evan, why you look sad? We won game!” Evan looked up at his hulking Russian teammate and sighed. “It’s just, I heard Andre talking about how he’s going to treat his woman to a night on the town, and it reminded me that I do not have a girl to call my own.” Confused, Timofey…
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov Career High 23 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/13/2013)
“Hey T-Mo, great game tonight man! You’re really repping the homeland!” Timofey jumped. He thought he had been alone in the locker room. Hurriedly closing the laptop screen, he turned around to find Evan Fournier. “Thanks Evan. Proud glory of Rus’ flow through my veins like strong river, I guess. Haha,” Timofey said. “What were…
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