If any one of you jokers comments “when you nut but she still suckin” or any variation thereof, in reference to the thumbnail, you can expect a whole bunch of unwanted buffalo wings delivered straight to your door. Okay? I’m sick of people making fun of the artistry I put into each and every one…
Read MoreTag: Toronto Raptors
Cory Joseph 17 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2016)
Given how unnecessarily excited the Raptors commentators were getting for Cory Joseph’s middling offensive performance, I figured that Joseph had been underperforming for the first bit of the season and that the commentators were just happy to see any signs of life out of him. So I checked it out. I honestly don’t know what…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll 20 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2016)
What has to be the most annoying thing in the world is for your dreadlocks to pop out of their container while you’re trying to ball. Then you have to run around and try to focus on the ball and your man while hair strings are flying around your face getting in your way. THEN…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 23 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2016)
I won’t even try to comment on the way that the Raptors-Kings game ended last night. Apparently it was contentious and controversial. Math involving the shot clock and the game clock was involved. Balls were tipped. Toronto fans think the league is rigged against them because of the leaf on their flag. Players are tweeting…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas Career High 32 Points Full Highlights (10/26/2016)
Sorry about this vid. It’s Jonas Valanciunas scoring a career-high 32 points. That’s not the part I’m sorry about. Well, it kind of is. Because this vid contains a LOT of free throws. Free throws, as you all know, are the lamest part of any highlight viewing experience. Just a dude standing 15 feet away…
Read MoreCory Joseph 14 Points Full Highlights (5/21/2016)
How’s this for a fairytale-like story: a young basketball player who idolized his hometown NBA team from an early age eventually makes his way to the NBA, then, after a few seasons, gets traded to the very team he religiously followed during his developmental years, then helps that team to the playoffs, and makes a…
Read MoreBismack Biyombo Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (5/14/2016)
I don’t think there are many things more clutch than scoring a career high in a game seven. And I don’t think that there were many people out there who had ventured to affix the “clutch” label on Bismack Biyombo. If we evaluate this performance honestly, Biyombo scoring seventeen is comparable to Stephen Curry scoring…
Read MoreDeMarre Carroll 21 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2016)
There is no valid reason for why DeMarre “I somehow tricked a GM into thinking I was not merely a system player” Carroll would be the leading scorer in a playoff game. No reason at all. Look at the rosters of the Raptors and Heat. There are about a billion players who I would pick…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 19 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2016)
Terrence Ross must read my video descriptions or something. Just days after I wrote mean things about him in the description of a Norman Powell video, he goes out and actually has a decent game by his standards. It’s like me saying how worthless he was made him determined to prove that he has worth…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 24 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2016)
Jonas Valanciunas is straight gangstering so far in these playoffs. Fifteen and twelve on good percentages? Those are pretty much the numbers that you’d see in a theoretical definition for “straight gangstering”. Unfortunately, a certain pair of unnamed “chuck bros” again cost their team the win with their poor shooting, poor passing, and overall poor…
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