We all know that the reason the NBA invited so many teams into the Bubb was because they wanted Zion Williamson (and, incidentally, the rest of the Pelicans’ roster) to be in the playoffs. Nobody’s gone right out and said it, but this conclusion is so obvious that it completely bypasses “conspiracy theory” territory and…
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Zion Williamson 24 Points Full Highlights (8/6/2020)
Zion Williamson is clearly quite a bit heftier than he was in high school. He’s also clearly above a healthy playing weight right now. Four months of NBA postponement didn’t help him slim down at all. But who can really blame him? I mean, food tastes SO GOOD. I’m compulsively thinking about food at least…
Read MoreZion Williamson 23 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (8/3/2020)
Zion Williamson only had three games this season (out of 21 appearances) where he shot below 50% from the field. I’m just so used to high-efficiency outings from him that I get irrationally upset when he has a relatively poor shooting game. That’s why I’m irrationally upset right now. Zion went 9-of-21 from the field…
Read MoreZion Williamson 13 Points Full Highlights (7/30/2020)
I wake up to the sound of rain pounding on my window. How many days in a row has it been raining? It seems like forever. The clock next to my bed says 10:46 AM. I’ve overslept again, but can it really be called oversleeping when your excessive sleep isn’t causing you to miss anything…
Read MoreZion Williamson All 172 Field Goals Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Bucketilation)
All signs seem to point towards Ja Morant being ROTY of the year this season. However, that outcome is not as guaranteed as Morant stans would have you believe. The highly-touted Zion Williamson deserves consideration for the award as well, and in the following in-depth comparison which has been rigorously fact-checked and contains no lies…
Read MoreZion Williamson 23 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2020)
Here’s the deal. Zion Williamson is fun and awesome and cool and great and all other kinds of positive adjectives, but there’s another exciting rookie big man on the roster who is all those things too. Maybe you’ve heard of him, although, then again, if you’re a casual fan who is only on my channel…
Read MoreZion Williamson 17 Points Full Highlights (3/6/2020)
Zion Williamson’s streak of consecutive 20-point games has come to an end at 14. I didn’t get to watch this game, but I’m just going to guess that Bam Adebayo shut him down in the same way he shut down Giannis. Either that, or Lonzo Ball got a big head due to his hot three-point…
Read MoreZion Williamson 21 Points Full Highlights (3/4/2020)
You shouldn’t really need to watch this video, because if you’re any sort of basketball fan at all, you already watched this Mavericks versus Pelicans game in its entirety, this highly-anticipated matchup between two of the league’s biggest young stars, Zion Williamson and Luka Doncic, thus negating the need to watch a concisely-edited video showing…
Read MoreZion Williamson 25 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2020)
In one of my recent Zion Williamson video descriptions (I don’t remember which one, all these Zion highlights are blurring together into an indistinct mass of black skin, dunks, and wobbly running), I bemoaned the fact that the Pelicans’ color commentator is unbearable. I then put forward my plan to use the commentators of the…
Read MoreZion Williamson 35 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2020)
The Pelicans are 9-7 since Zion Williamson made his debut a little over a month ago. This is what’s called a “playoff push”, and it’s what you have to do when you’ve got J.J. Redick on your team and he hasn’t missed the playoffs even once over his 13-year career and if you miss the…
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