Tonight was a hotly-anticipated matchup between Bojan Bogdanovic and Dario Saric. While they were overshadowed by “better” players on their respective teams, they both made an impact. But who came out on top? Let’s take a look at the facts, and with the facts come to a truthful and correct conclusion.
Both dudes are Croatian, but Dario Saric was actually born in Croatia. This is a whole can of worms that I don’t want to get into because if I say the wrong thing I’ll get a bunch of Euros telling me how wrong I am. Advantage: why do national boundaries exist anyway?
Bogdanovic had 21, and Saric had 15. Seems pretty cut-and-dry to me, buster. Advantage: Bogdanovic
I don’t know if Saric ever scored on Bogey, but here’s the deal bros: Bogdanovic TOASTED Saric MULTIPLE times. He knew he could score on that floppy-haired weakling, and he did. Repeatedly. With bad intentions and extreme prejudice. Advantage: Bogdanovic
LOOKING LIKE A PRETTY-BOY:
How long do you think Saric spent preening in front of the mirror before the game? Meanwhile, Bogdanovic never looks in mirrors because he hates being reminded of how fast his hair is receding. Advantage: Saric
70’s PROG ROCK VINYL COLLECTION:
Bogdanovic has a very large and extensive collection of progressive rock covering all eras and styles. While not strictly from the 70’s, being released in 1980, the gem of his collection is an original first pressing of “Continente Perdido” by the Brazilian band Tellah. Saric, meanwhile, has a couple of Rush albums, but they’re on CD, not vinyl. Advantage: Bogdanovic
The facts have been laid out before you. Do not waste your time interpreting them; I have already done so, and the facts tell us, factually, that Bogdanovic is way WAY better than Saric and probably has banged more chicks also.