Joe Ingles 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/11/2017)

Let me again express wonderment at the fact that Joe Ingles AKA Jingles AKA Jinglin’ Joe AKA Slo-mo Joe AKA Sloppy Joe is not only an NBA player, but a valued contributor getting paid hella stacks. When I look at his flabby body, balding head, and pasty whiteness, it just doesn’t reconcile with what I know his stats to be.

Jingles is the sort of guy who would show up to a pickup basketball game wearing ratty sneakers and everybody thinks they’re going to cook this computer programmer lookalike who’s tall but doesn’t look like he can run or jump. But if Jingles really did show up to a neighborhood game of basketball, he would be the one doing the cooking, and he might even dunk it when faced with the laughable defensive efforts of you and your friends. That’s if he didn’t care about ruining his ankles and knees on the asphalt.

I smell an Uncle Drew spinoff series. Do you smell it? I’ve already got a name for it: “Computer Programmer Steve Teaches Cocky Young Ballers How to Hoop”.

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