When I tuned in to the Bucks-Jazz game at first I thought I had entered some kind of time warp, because it looked like we were playing the Pacers. I was getting ready to call all the newspapers and tell them that I was a time traveler and that they should interview me, but then it turned out that the Jazz were debuting some new “gold” jersey and I hadn’t suffered a spontaneous temporal relocation like I had thought.
Nike’s probably making mad bank by introducing all these crazy one-off jerseys, but my little peanut brain can’t hold all this new jersey information at once. All I know is that the Jizz are not a yellow team, they’ve never been a yellow team even though they have yellow in their logo, so they shouldn’t wear yellow jerseys. How would you feel if the Bucks wore an all-blue jersey just because blue is a minor part of their color scheme? You’d feel violated and betrayed. That’s how I felt when I saw the Jazz walk onto the court looking like they just got off the bus from Indianapolis.
The new jerseys must have made his teammates easier to see because Joe Ingles AKA The Big Didgeridoo racked up a season-high nine assists. He also canned five triples and in general was a better point guard than Ricky Rubio was. Not bad for a bogan cunt.