Now that Alfonzo McKinnie appears in my highlights archivium not once, but twice, I can’t help but yearn for the opportunity to fill in the missing slots of that vast highlights library. McKinnie is great and all, and I’m quite pleased that he has secured his place in the immortal halls of NBA highlight infamy, but there’s another player whose spot sits empty:
He played one minute for the Pacers last season. One whole minute. The only player who could ever generate a highlight-worthy performance in one minute of action is probably Jordan Crawford. McKinney-Jones is not that player. But, I know that, if given sufficient minutes and sufficient attempts, he could generate enough made field goals to warrant DTB highlightage. I know it. I feel the knowledge deep in my loins next to my bowels. The knowledge festers there, but it’s a knowledge that can never be tested, for McKinney-Jones is in Japan now.
I know this has nothing to do with McKinnie. But I was walking through my archive of hand-labeled VHS tapes and shed a silent tear for the place on the shelf that waits for a McKinney-Jones tape. The experience was so personally moving that I had to share it with you all. So, after you greedily consume a highlights package consisting of Alfonzo McKinnie scoring 14 points with some smooth-looking jumpshots, join me in a moment of silence for those we have lost.