To commemorate the return of Jabari Parker to Milwaukee, I snuggled up with my little kitty Japurri Purrker to watch the game. I had all kinds of special snacks at the ready: five bags of Gardettos-brand snack mix in a punch bowl, Bagel Bites (pepperoni flavor) fresh out of the oven, Sun Drop soda (I drink it straight out of the two-liter because Japurri doesn’t judge me like humans do), and, of course, Pop Tart sandwiches of many variations. I think Jabari deserves respect in the form of snack overabundance since he gave Bucks fans a lot of good memories.
Then he went and scored fifteen in the first quarter, including ten in the first four minutes, and I was like, this wasn’t part of the deal. I was actually ready to throw all my snacks in the trash because Jabari was absolutely torching the Bucks and I thought he was gonna get forty. It was shaping up to be a statement-making REVENGE GAME.
I honestly lost my appetite after that second three-pointer. It was either that or the Bagel Bites were past their expiration date. You know how people let wine age in their cellar and then they bring it out for special occasions? That’s what I do with Bagel Bites, except the cellar is my freezer.
It’s a good thing I didn’t overreact by getting rid of all my foodstuffs, because Jabari’s REVENGE GAME turned out to be more of a REVENGE QUARTER. He only scored six more points after that first-quarter scoring explosion. The snacks tasted a lot better once he was done having REVENGE on us.