Marcus Smart 18 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/3/2019)

Boston-area sports fans have it so great today. They get to watch their beloved Celtics in the early afternoon, then watch their beloved Patriots in the Superb Owl (a contest which they are currently winning 3-0 – exciting!). That’s, like, six hours nonstop of eating chicken wings, pizza, nachos, chips with dip, and more chicken…

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Marcus Smart 21 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/28/2019)

Since Marcus Smart is now a 36% three-point shooter (a percentage that will go up after this game), I should stop being incredulous when the three-pointers he takes actually go through the net. In past seasons, it was a forgone conclusion that most of the three-pointers Smart chucked up there were not going to in….

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Marcus Smart 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (1/18/2019)

So I guess I have to grudgingly admit now that Marcus Smart is a good three-point shooter. He was shooting above 35% before this game happened, and then Smart went 6-of-8, which means that his percentages will probably go up. To me, 35% is roughly the line that separates “okay” three-point shooters from “good” ones….

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Marcus Smart 18 Points/1 Block Full Highlights (1/10/2019)

I’ve been one of Smart’s biggest critics ever since he came in to the league. Among the attributes of his that I have criticized: -His hair (which looks like white-cheddar cheetos dyed half-black) -His complexion (low blow, but his acne scarring is crazy bad) -Celtic fans’ adoration of him (not his fault, but also kind…

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Marcus Smart 21 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2018)

There’s probably people out there who secretly wish that I would create a Marcus Smart Floppilation at the end of this season. I would like to put that idea to rest right now. Such a video would not happen for a myriad of reasons: -Flops do not appear in the box-score. The closest I would…

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Marcus Smart 19 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2018)

I don’t really understand how Marcus Smart fits in with this iteration of the Celtics, but as long as he continues to torment Celtics fans with his outsized contract and streaky play, I guess I’m fine with him remaining a Celtic. He was re-signed in the off season to be, I assume, the primary backup…

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Marcus Smart 19 Points Full Highlights (5/3/2018)

My burning, irrational hatred for Marcus Smart does not allow me to acknowledge when he has a good game. Instead, I am compelled to point out his deficiencies: how he had the same amount of assists as turnovers (3), how he chucked ten three-pointers despite being one of the worst high-volume three-point shooters in the…

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Marcus Smart 20 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (3/11/2018)

It causes me physical pain when Marcus Smart has a good game in defiance of all the mean things I’ve written about him. Actual physical pain, akin to having your chest skewered with knives. Celtics fans will tell me all about his defense and that’s easy for me to ignore since there are no box-score…

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Marcus Smart 22 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/23/2018)

Marcus Smart missed a buzzer-beating three-pointer as time expired, but if the Lakers could actually shoot free throws (Josh Fart missed a pair with nineteen seconds left and Kentavious Callbrick-Poop missed a pair with five seconds left), Smart wouldn’t have even had a chance to take (and miss) the game-winner, so I consider this one…

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Marcus Smart 18 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2018)

OFFICIAL LOWEST TRUE SHOOTING PERCENTAGES FOR PLAYERS WHO PLAY MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES PER GAME POWER RANKINGS: 1. Lonzo “Secretly Hates his Father” Ball (43%) 2. Marcus “Vital Part of the Team” Smart (45.8%) 3. Danilo “Hospital Bed” Gallinari (47.5%) 4. Dion “Buckets Don’t Lie” Waiters (48.7%) 5. Nicolas “I Hate Juan-Carlos Navarro” Batum (49.7%)…

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