January 2013 – DownToBuck

Kawhi Leonard 18 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2013)

He trudged endlessly through the Tibetan snowscape. There was no sound but for the crunch of his footfalls. Would he find enlightenment here? He had sought the guru for days, having been told by Euroleague players that the guru would make himself apparent after the proper mindset had been attained. But Kawhi was already pretty…

Aron Baynes 7 Points/1 Block Full Highlights (1/30/2013)

Here’s something crazy. Let’s assign a number value to each letter A=1,…, Z=26. Look at the initials of the name Aron Baynes. AB. 1 + 2. That makes three. Now count up the number of letters in his name. 10. Subtract the two numbers. 10 – 3 = 7. Which is the number of points…

Lavoy Allen 14 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2013)

When you think of Lavoy Allen (which, granted, probably isn’t very often, but bear with me on this), which NBA great does he remind you of? Hakeem Olajuwon? Sam Bowie? Brad Lohaus? Patrick Ewing? No. You should be thinking of Otis Thorpe. The similarities are eerie. They are both tall black men who play in…

Samuel Dalembert 12 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/29/2013)

Samuel “Fatty D” Dalembert is pretty worthless these days. He is a horrible help defender and he thinks he’s KG or something with all the jumpers he takes. But he does still have some useful traits, like being freakishly tall and still being ambulant. And he can dunk. That’s pretty cool. In conclusion: Samuel Dalembert…

Brandon Jennings 30 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2013)

Brandon “Baddy Chuck” Jennings will never be an All-Star. All-Stars don’t shoot 40% from the field unless they’re named Allen Iverson. Too bad, because the All-Star game’s “run and chuck” mode of play is perfectly suited to what Jennings likes to do on the court, which is run around really fast and chuck bad shots….

Klay Thompson Career High 32 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2013)

Klay Thompson is an integral part of a major discussion in today’s NBA. Race. More specifically, is Klay Thompson a white dude or a black dude. Or something else? I don’t know, man. He LOOKS white. Really white. He even has a Jew-looking nose. But his dad Mychal Thompson was definitely a black dude. So…

Andre Drummond 18 Points/18 Rebounds Full Highlights (1/29/2013)

Andre Drummond is the perfect case study for why NBA scouting is crap. Except for a rare sure-fire prospect like LeBron or Anthony Davis it’s pretty much a crapshoot as to your draft pick being good. Players who are bad get picked comparatively high (Austin Rivers). Players who are amazing get picked comparatively low (Andre…

Andrew Bogut 12 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/28/2013)

Andrew Bogut is pretty much a walking injury machine. Not his fault, of course, but when people look back into the history books they’re gonna say “Andrew Bogut. Dude just couldn’t stay healthy. And why did the Bucks pick him over the GOAT Chris Paul?”. Which is too bad, because he’s actually a really good…

Ryan Anderson 22 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (1/27/2013)

Ryan Anderson is a 3-point machine. I have heard rumors that you can hear a faint metallic clinking sound as he runs up and down the court, and the way his release never changes is simply superhuman. Has anybody checked his body for robotic implants? I never see him drinking Gatorade on the bench… W̷a̸i̴t̶,̷…

Dahntay Jones 11 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (1/27/2013)

Dahntay Jones AKA “Dahntay’s Infehrno” has not had a very exciting career. I say this with confidence because my mental encyclopedia’s entry for the guy reads like this: “6-foot-five (ish). 30-something years old. Played for the Pacers for a few years. Never was all that great. For more information, see entry for Dominique Jones, since…