(Note: the following may make more sense if you read the description for my first Brandon Knight highlights) Noticeable just on the edge of hearing, the dull murmur of the city broke the otherwise perfect silence of the room. Brandon Knight tossed restlessly in bed. Somewhere inside he felt he’d had this dream before… “You…
Read MoreMonth: January 2013
Luke Ridnour 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/26/2013)
Luke Ridnour. Is he a starting-caliber point guard? No. Was he secretly happy that Rubio injured himself? Yes. How often has he fantasized about slamming Rubio’s knees with a crowbar until they resemble undercooked Hamburger Helper? Very often. How often has he fantasized about dunking in-game? More often.
Read MoreMarc Gasol 20 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (1/25/2012)
Have you seen that picture of Marc Gasol in high school? He was a total fatty. But the rolls of blubber encasing his body disguised the potential that bubbled in his veins. In between eating whole boxes of ho-hos and ding-dongs, Gasol would studiously work on his post moves and footwork, waiting patiently for the…
Read MoreKyle Korver 27 Points (8 Threes) Full Highlights (1/25/2013)
I love white three-point shooters. They’re my favorite type of player, because If I somehow by some accident made it into the NBA that’s what I would be. If any NBA talent scouts are reading this, please, don’t hesitate to get in contact with me. Kyle Korver has cemented himself as one of the very…
Read MoreMickael Gelabale 15 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2013)
I wish someone would send me a copies of the NBA Pronunciation guides. I fear I’m pronouncing a name like Saer Sene wrong when I’m telling people how big of a bust he was. Anyway, it would help if the Wizards commentators read that thing, because they cycle through many different pronunciations before settling on…
Read MoreNikola Vucevic 19 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2013)
“Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent’s fate.” – Sun Tzu Tonight’s homework assignment: Figure out what the heck that quote has to do with Nikola Vucevic. I want a 1 page, single-spaced essay to…
Read MoreJared Dudley 23 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2013)
Jared Dudley is a 100% total bust. He has been nothing but trash for every team he’s played for and I have to think that the only reason he keeps getting gigs is pity. He also rocked the worse cornrows I’ve ever seen in the NBA. What a worthless scrub. Just kidding (except the cornrows…
Read MoreDarrell Arthur 20 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2013)
I think Grizzlies fans may overrate Darrell Arthur a bit. When he got injured and missed the whole of last year, many of them claimed that their relative lack of success in the playoffs was because of his absence. “Just wait.” they said. “Next year when Darrell Arthur comes back we are going to make…
Read MoreTiago Splitter Career High 25 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2013)
Did you hear about the new live-action Beavis and Butt-Head movie they’re making. I heard from an inside source that the actor for Butt-Head is none other than San Antonio Spurs superstar Tiago Splitter! They couldn’t have picked a better person for the role. This second career doesn’t seem to have affected him much, as…
Read MoreChris Johnson 12 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/23/2013)
Chris Johnson. Unless you are an NBA junkie or Timberwolves fan, you probably don’t know who this is. With a name like Chris Johnson you are pretty much doomed to obscurity. And not only that, but he shares his name with ANOTHER totally scrubby player who just got signed by the Grizz. So if you’re…
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