Want to get away? Work-related stresses taking their toll? That fat chick from HR won’t stop hitting on you? Take a relaxing trip on our first-class superliner, “The Booze Cruise”.
Spend 5 days and 4 nights in luxuriant splendor on the open seas of Lake Michigan. The ship has many amenities to help you take your mind off the fact that you’re locked in to a desk job that will eat up 40 years of your life before you know it. Some amenities include:
The fully stocked “Boozer time” bar, with fine wines and spirits from across the globe. Or, for the less adventurous palate, Bud Lite.
Shuffleboard! Enough said.
“Carlos’ Pregame Experience”, a rousing basketball-themed attraction where you get to watch an animatronic Carlos Boozer go through his pregame warmups.
A full-fledged casino complete with table games and also those little machines where you put in a coin in and hit a button repeatedly like some sort of robot. But instead of cocktail waitresses we have “The Booze Crew”, a troupe of shirtless Carlos Boozer look-a-likes.
The “Twilight Fantasy” light show every night at 8:00 PM. Gaze with wonderment in the manner of a child at the synchronized lights and water jets.
Every adventurer will get entered into a raffle for a chance to experience “Boozer’s Midnight Magic”, where Carlos Boozer himself sneaks into your room at midnight and watches you sleep!
We hope to see you soon on one of our exciting journeys! Don’t delay, spots are filling up fast, and since Boozer will get traded any day now, this is a limited-time offer.