Marvin Williams was drafted second overall back in 2005. Is the second overall pick the worst possible pick you can have? Because a lot of the players who have been picked at that spot since 2000 have been pretty bad:
2013: Victor Oladipo. Actually looks to be the best player taken in the top ten this year, and probably has a few all-star appearances in him.
2012: Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. Jumpshot form is screwed beyond belief. If he ever scores 15 PPG, I will be surprised.
2011: Derrick Williams. This guy just got traded for Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, who was previously traded for two second-round picks. So, Derrick Williams = two second-rounders. I would be laughing if it weren’t so sad.
2010: Evan Turner. I’ve called him a bust before. He’s not totally useless, and he’s playing fairly well this year, so I’ll say for now that he’s only somewhat of a bust.
2009: Hasheem Thabeet. Biggest bust ever until Anthony Bennett arrived on the scene. Might have utility as a person who can change those really high-up lightbulbs that you can’t reach without a ladder.
2008: Michael Beasley. A headcase with effort issues. I still have hope for him, but until he proves that he can play helpful minutes for a winning team over the course of a whole season, he’s a bust.
2007: Kevin Durant. Probably the worst scoring champion ever. Sefolosha and Perkins carried this bum to the finals.
2006: LaMarcus Aldrige. I concede that LMA is actually good. In fact, he’s a top 5 PF.
2005: Our man Marvin Williams. He’s getting a little old now, and will never live up to the “potential”. In the future I will be telling my children, “Marvin Williams may have sucked, but he was nowhere near as bad as Derrick Williams.”
2004: Emeka Okafor. Started out strong, but has gotten worse every year he has been in the league.
2003: Darko Milicic. This draft was seriously loaded at the top. Sometimes when I want a good laugh I load up that picture of Darko with bleached hair holding up his Pistons jersey. Never fails to cheer me up.
2002: Jay Williams. If we’re being honest here, I have no idea who Jay Williams is. Is he the guy who crashed his motorcycle?
2001: Tyson Chandler. It took a long time for this guy to be useful in the NBA, but he managed it, unlike a lot of big men. Congrats to Tyson. Now stop skipping leg day.
2000: Stromile Swift. Drafted back when the Grizzlies were still in Vancouver, which is pretty much prehistoric times. Best known for murdering Tyrus Thomas during a game.
If you took all these guys at their primes (minus Durant) and put them on the same team, you might win 30 games. Maybe. That’s pretty funny when you think about it.