Marcin Gortat 19 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/20/2014)

Martell Webster, seated next to Marcin on the bench, decided it would be a good time to bring up his plans. “Yo Marcin, I know it’s your birthday today, so me and the guys thought we would take you out to a strip joint for some partyin’.”

Marcin smiled happily. He hadn’t expected anybody to remember his birthday. “That sound like fun, Martell. We all get shitfaced and dance with naked girl, should be blast.”

Leaning over to reduce their chances of being overheard, Martell said, “We actually got some special girls in for the occasion. All the way from your homeland.”

“Serious? Oh, Polish girl are best girl,” Marcin said, leaning back in his too-small chair with eyes closed. “It been so long since I see beautiful Polish woman. Thank you guys, I so excited.”
“Here we are!” yelled Martell, parking the car in front of a run-down establishment called “DC Dolls”. Marcin, already festooned with party hat and confetti from the car ride over, followed his teammates inside.

“This way,” Martell said, leading them past the main stage. “I got us a private room.”

“Oh man, Martell, you best,” Marcin gushed, looking hungrily at the strippers on the main floor. “My wife going be so mad when find out, haha!”

When they got to their private lounge, they all sat down on booths which ran around the outside of the room. In the center was a small raised platform, suitable for two or three girls at the most.

“So, how do you like it?” Martell asked. For some reason, many of his teammates were giggling.

“It very nice room,” Gortat answered. “But I don’t care about room. All I want is hot Polish girls.”

“But she’s already up on stage, Marcin. Can’t you see her?” Martell asked, now laughing fully.

Gortat looked around the room for any sign of a stripper. “Quit saying joke. There no girl here.”

“Oh, but she is, dude. See, on the stage is a stripper pole. Get it? Stripper? Pole?” Martell clarified before disintegrating into waves of laughter. The rest of his teammates joined in, finding the pun incredibly humorous.

It took a while for the non-native English speaker to process the wordplay. “So we come all the way here to make prank on poor dumb Marcin? Promise him cute Pole girls and instead he just get pole? Funny.” With that, he got up and walked out the door.

“Wait, Marcin, come back, now the fun really starts!” Martell yelled after him. But there was no response. Marcin was gone.

“Sorry Brygitka, sorry Lideczka,” he apologized to the lovely Polish girls who had been hiding under their seats the whole time. “I didn’t think he would take it that badly. But, you know, you can still dance for us if you’d like!”

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