“Jarvis, I think you and I both know why I called you into my office today.”
Jarvis looked at 76ers GM Sam Hinkie with a quizzical expression. Had he done something wrong? “I’m not following you,” he said.
“Maybe this will jog your memory,” Sam said, hitting a button on his remote to turn on the TV behind him. On the screen played the final seconds of the Sixers’ win over the Pistons. A disgusted look came upon Sam’s face as he watched the jubilant celebrations of the crowd and the players. He snapped it off.
“What’s the problem?” Jarvis asked. “We won the game!”
“That is precisely the problem,” Sam said, voice low with anger. “I thought the coaching staff had made it clear: no more wins.” Jarvis sat in stunned silence as Sam got up from his desk. Even standing, he was barely taller than the player. “Explain it to me, Jarvis. How are we going to beat Milwaukee in the race to the bottom if we keep winning games, hmm? I’m listening.”
Jarvis had no response. He knew the organization wasn’t really attempting to put out a winning product, but he had never been told by the coaches to lose on purpose.
“It’s all gone to hell!” Sam yelled, sweeping a stack of papers off his desk. “Everybody knows that the worst team has the best chances at the first pick! Everybody! And we blew it! There’s no way Milwaukee wins another!” In his rage, he picked up his chair and threw it at the wall. “You morons can’t even follow simple instructions. You think six blocks is gonna help us lose the game? Think again, Jarvis!”
Sam’s body flumped heavily to the floor. His anguish seemed to be causing him physical pain as he rolled around, beating his head with his fists. “AARRGHHH! AAAAAH!!” he yelled incoherently. Jarvis wasn’t sure, but he thought his GM might be crying.
“Um, I have to go now,” Jarvis said, standing up from his chair and backing slowly away from the season. “It was nice talking to you.”
“AAAAAAARRHAHAHWWWAAAAA!!!” Sam screamed, continuing to punch himself. “WHAAAAAAAARGGH!”