Since Kyle Korver and his handsome face have stolen multiple girlfriends from me in the past few years, I am currently done with women for the time being. Fate has seen fit to test my resolve by placing attractive females in my way as I go about my daily life, but I’m a strong man and I feel only a little bit of temptation.
Take yesterday for example. I was shopping for my groceries and this hottie wearing yoga pants kept bending over to get stuff out of the bottom row of freezer food. I tried not to leer but DAMN. Anyway. Her butt was like the temptation of Adam and Eve for real. I knew she wanted some of DTB’s special sauce but, like I said, no more women for now, so I left that aisle and went to the cereal section even though I hadn’t even gotten my bagel bites yet.
These are the kinds of things that happen to you more often when fate finds out that you’re trying not to have a GF.
Home life has been a lot more relaxing. I can make highlights all the time and the only thing that whines is my stomach when I don’t feed it enough bagel bites (turns out I forgot them when I saw the special they were having on Golden Grahams). I can leave the toilet seat up. I choose what Netflix we watch (no more Legally Blonde, thank you Jeebus). No more shopping trips where we come back with like eight tops that are only going to get worn like once or twice, all on my card of course.
Yep. Life is good for DownToBuck right now. Bros before clothes.