Steven Adams was busy twanging on his bass, clad in a neon-blue bodysuit, with a teaseled wig on his head. Kendrick Perkins lay slumped over his drum kit, fast asleep. They were waiting for Jeremy Lamb so they could begin practice, and he was never late.
Just as Steven was packing up his equipment to head out, Jeremy Lamb walked in.
“Yo, why are you so late? I’ve been here for over an hour and I think Kendrick has died by now. And where’s your outfit?”
Kendrick stirred at the commotion. He looked confusedly at the pair and mumbled “Yeah, Jeremy, where’s your purple spandex thing?”
“Oh, I’ve been thinking about the direction of the band a bit, and I don’t know if I want to wear that thing anymore. It really pinched my nads, and it wouldn’t fit in with the new sound we’re going for.” Jeremy responded as he unpacked his guitar.
Steven looked concerned. “New sound? I thought that we were only ever going to play the sleaziest and glammiest hard rock this side of Tulsa? That’s what you told me anyway.”
“Yeah, sleazy and glammy Tulsa.” Kendrick slurred as he slumped back over his drum kit.
“You guys saw what happened at our latest concert. Well, Kendrick didn’t because he bailed on us to get McDonald’s, but you did Steven. It’s obvious that the good people of Oklahoma City aren’t interested in coked-up rockers with teaseled hair playing songs about women and drugs. They want more modern stuff. They want hardcore with a metallic edge. They want ‘Jeremy and the Lambs of God’. Check out this song I wrote.”
“‘Jeremy and the Lambs of God’? Wouldn’t we get sued by that other band…” Steven interjected before the practice space was entirely filled with a heavily-distorted racket consisting of simplistic single-note chugging. Jeremy’s screeching vocals added another layer of chaos to the overdriven guitar cacophony. The noise continued for a few minutes, barely changing in style or tempo, before stopping abruptly.
Jeremy looked pleased with himself. “What do you think? Pretty brutal huh?”
Steven didn’t look as pleased. “Yeah, brutal, definitely. Listen, we’re gonna have to discuss this another time. It’s gotten a little late and I want to think this over. I thought ‘Jeremy and the Little Lambs’ was on the cusp of a major breakthrough. Maybe you’ll have better luck with Kendrick, if you can wake him up. See ya.”