I warned Kyle in my last description that he shouldn’t have any more good games. Apparently he doesn’t watch his own highlight videos, because here I am, making another Singler video.
Even the mention of his last name catapults me into a whirling vortex of loneliness. “Singler”. That describes my life right now. Yesterday I was getting my oil changed and the mechanic was talking to his coworker about how he was going to get married on Christmas Day. I made a big scene about how he was “triggering” me and ended up kinda driving away without paying. That’s what he gets for talking about girlfriends in front of me.
Then, later, I was eating my din-dins at Burger King when this cutie walked in wearing these super tight jeans. I was staring at her pretty hard and she kept looking at me with a worried look on her face. I think she was just afraid of how good looking I am. She left pretty quickly, but not before flaunting her butt at me a few more times while filling some little ketchup cups. I’m pretty sure Jesus is putting these obstacles in my path to tempt me. Here’s a news flash, Jesus: it’s not working, because DTB is done with girlfriends. Forever.
I’m for real when I say this: if Kyle Singler continues to ignore my command to cease having good performances, I’m going to stop making his highlights. Only one person will come out of this battle with the flag of the winner raised high above their head, and it’s going to be me.