I’m actually starting to worry about Jazz commentator Ron Boone. Half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth doesn’t make sense, and the other half, you can’t hear because he mumbles. Most of the time he doesn’t finish thoughts that he starts. It seems like “Booner” has favorable things to say about Derrick…
Read MoreDay: December 5, 2014
DeMarre Carroll 18 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
OFFICIAL “DE”S OF THE NBA POWER RANKINGS 1. DeMarcus Cousins 2. DeMar DeRozan 3. DeAndre Jordan 4. DeMarre Carroll —-POWER GAP—- 5. DeJuan Blair 6. Dewayne Dedmon The above power rankings make it seem like DeMarre is a worse player than he actually is. He is a perfect glue guy for the Hawks system, being…
Read MoreJabari Parker 14 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
The unforgiving madness of “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity” continued without end. Naked except for his undies, Jabari Parker worked on the sixth of ten uncooked bratwurst sausages which he was supposed to consume. He was fairly certain that he would not win this contest; Giannis had already finished the brats, and was on the second…
Read MoreKendall Marshall Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
The Milwaukee Bucks rotation is super crowded this year. Unlike most teams, the starters are about as good as the bench, in fact almost the entire roster 1-13 is roughly equal in quality. That means that there are some peeps who should probably be getting minutes but aren’t. Kendall Marshall is one of those peeps….
Read MoreDennis Schröder 13 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Things are really looking up for Dënniß ßchrööder. He’s starting to get a little love from the national media after this string of good games. He is now in the good company of Giannis and Gobert as young players who have fawning articles written about them by Grantland. There are a few things he needs…
Read MoreRobert Covington 21 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Robert Covington is currently suffering from “Gerald Henderson Syndrome”. I have no idea if he’s actually good or not, because the team he plays on is so putrid. We can only find out his true skill level once the 76ers get better or he goes to a different team. I know he was on a…
Read MoreRodney Hood 15 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
The obvious question that I have about Rodney Hood is, did he actually grow up in the hood? I exerted my google-fu to its maximum limits and found out a few things: Hood is from Meridian, Mississippi. Prior to my looking it up, all I know about Meridian was that it was an okay-sized city…
Read MoreShabazz Muhammad 20 Points Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Just last game, Shabazz “Bozzy” Muhammad took a significant step forward in his development as an NBA player. It happened right before my eyes, and it astounded me. I don’t doubt that Man Tears were shed in the Target Center as it occurred. Shabazz made a contested, long two-pointer. This is the first phase of…
Read MoreTayshaun Prince 20 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Tayshaun Prince scrolled through his contact list until he came upon the entry he wanted: “The Unholy One Himself, 666-6666”. Hitting the green “dial” button, he listened to the phone ring, wondering how he would phrase his request. Before he could ponder too long, the call was answered. “Keep this short, Khraakklor,” said Satan, referring…
Read MoreManu Ginobili 17 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/5/2014)
Alright everybody, it’s time, once and for all, to settle the greatest debate in the modern NBA. Is Manu Ginobili a Euro? This is a multifaceted question, with many angles to consider before we can make a final judgement. Supposedly he was born in Argentina, which is the same as Mexico. This means that he…
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