Dante “Crafty Pork” Cunningham found himself out of the league for a little bit while he dealt with some false domestic abuse charges. Well, soon he might again find himself out of a job once the cops get wind of his fondness for “defender abuse”. I actually called up the local police and told them…
Read MoreDay: December 14, 2014
Justin Hamilton 10 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
“Ten points isn’t really enough for highlights,” the inner voice says to me as I scroll through all of the day’s performers on Basketball-Reference. “Find somebody else.” Then, before I can stop it, even before I realize what my own hands are doing, I’m gathering clips from the Heat-Bulls game. “What are you doing, man?”…
Read MoreArron Afflalo 31 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
Arron Afflalo lay prone upon the grass outside the Pepsi Center. Cold raindrops splashed on his face, but he paid them no attention. “Hey, Arron!” It was Nate Robinson, who was walking across the lawn towards him. “Why are you looking so down? You did great tonight, my man.” Arron sighed dramatically. “The suffocating veil…
Read MoreCarlos Boozer 22 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
Why does Carlos Boozer yell so much? He yells at everything on the court, no matter what it is. Person driving into the paint? Just yell “AAAAAAAAAHHHH” at him and point rather than defending. Driving to the basket yourself? If anybody grazes your body, or even if they don’t: “AAAAHHH!!’ Sitting on the bench? Provide…
Read MoreTyler Ennis 11 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
I made these highlights more for me than for you guys. I was having a hard time keeping TJ Warren and Tyler Ennis straight in my head. And now I think I’ve got it! Ennis is a black dude, and so is Warren, but Warren is a lot blacker looking. Easy to remember. Also I…
Read MoreAndre Iguodala 20 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
Andre Iguodala hasn’t been the same this season. At all. He was a stud last year according to RAPM. One of the best players in the league going by that metric. What happened to turn that guy into this half-dead guy we see now? Is he injured? Did he really like Mark Jackson and quit…
Read MoreMike Dunleavy 22 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
Mike Dunleavy lay in bed, content after another victory on the basketball court. He looked over to the vague lump that was the sleeping form of his wife, Caroline, who had surrounded herself most of the sheets in her usual manner. Dunleavy didn’t mind. A lady as fine as Caroline should have all the sheets…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 22 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
I’m still reeling from that time T-Ross scored 51 points. I can barely see straight. Based on his play after that supposed performance I’m beginning to doubt that it even happened. Only 12 points per game this season? It just doesn’t make sense. Of course, the nature of reality makes it very difficult, if not…
Read MoreShabazz Muhammad Career High 28 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)
I remember way back when I first did Shabazz highlights, all he could do to score was shoot lefty hooks. And dunk. But mainly, lefty hooks. Some things never change. Maybe we should stop viewing this attribute of his game as a negative. Do we say the Curry takes too many threes, or Kareem took…
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