After a poor rookie season, Ben McLemore is finally showing us why he was drafted seventh overall in the 2013 draft. His three-point shot has come along well and, in general, he’s just shooting better from everywhere on the court. I don’t exactly remember, since I’m drunk for most of these descriptions, but I probably called Ben Mac a bust more than once.
Since he is proving me wrong so decisively, I’ve come up with a little plan to rectify the situation. It’s called “sneak onto the bench and tie his shoelaces together when he’s not looking.” That way, he won’t be able to run around on the court, only shuffle a few inches at a time. His efficiency on both ends will be effected badly and they’ll probably have to stop playing him entirely. Then he can become a bust again, just as he was supposed to.
If you see a guy with sunglasses pretending to be a towel boy at Kings games, don’t say anything. My reputation rests on my being able to execute this plan without flaw.