Nerlens Noel Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2015)

Nerlens Noel awkwardly shuffled to the other end of the locker room, hiding his hands behind his back. “Hey, Luc, some of the other guys said you give real good advice.”

Luc Richard Mbah a Moute looked up from his phone, which was displaying the latest Cameroonian news. Grinning, he answered, “I just want to help you youngsters out.”

Nerlens smiled a smile of relief. “Cool, ’cause I could really use some help right now. I was chatting with Jerami before the game and he told me that when you’re makin’ love to a woman, there’s some way that you can stop babies from happenin’. I can’t remember what it’s called now…con…cant…something.”

Luc wore a blake expression as Nerlens continued to struggle.

“Control…camp…oh, I got it! Interception! Interception is what you do when you want to bang a chick but you ain’t ready for a little Nerlens runnin’ around everywhere!”

“The correct term is ‘contraception’, but you have the right idea,” Luc confirmed. “If you learned everything you needed from Jerami, why are you talking to me? And why are your hands behind your back?”

Leaning in closer to his teammate, Nerlens whispered, “I don’t know if I’m doin’ it right.”

“Tell me how you’re doing it and I’ll correct you if you’re making any mistakes,” Luc said reassuringly.

“Okay, promise you won’t laugh, man.”

Luc put his hand over his heart. “I promise.”

Removing his hands from their hiding place, Nerlens revealed ten fingers, each one covered by a condom. “Jerami said they sold condos at Walgreen’s, but I couldn’t read the directions.”

“Condoms,” Luc corrected, barely containing his amusement. “But yeah, you’re doing it right.”

“So they don’t go…down there?” Nerlens asked, looking down at his shorts. “That’s what Jerami seemed to think.”

“Oh no no no,” Luc said, shaking his head. “You want to have them on your fingers so you can touch your girl without getting her pregnant.”

“Ohhhhhhhh,” responded Nerlens, eyes wide. “Wait. She can get preggo just by me touching her?”

Luc nodded his head somberly. “Yep. That’s how babies happen, Nerlens. You’re lucky that you don’t have a whole family by now!”

“Thanks for clearing that up for me, man,” Nerlens said happily, holding his hand out for a handclasp, which Luc did not reciprocate.

“Better not. Don’t want to put any holes in the condoms.”

Nerlens withdrew his offered hand. “Yeah, yeah, of course, my bad. Anyway, I gotta get going, Luc, me and my girl have a date tonight.”

“Good luck!” Luc called after the retreating form of his tall teammate. As soon as Nerlens was out of earshot, Luc’s restrained laughter poured out of his mouth, now fully unrestrained.

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