This is a lot of points for Tiago Splitter. His career high is 25, and this is 23. So why does this video feel so lame? I blame Tiago Splitter himself. He’s just not an exciting player. In any way. The most exciting thing about him is that he kind of looks like Butt-Head from…
Read MoreMonth: March 2015
Jeremy Lin 29 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2015)
Jeremy Lin’s mind whirled, frantic thoughts chasing each other through the labyrinth of his psyche. He thought back to what Chandler Parsons had just said. “See you man. I love you. Wait, I didn’t mean…” The phone call had ended only a few minutes prior, but it already seemed an eternity. He had not faltered…
Read MoreTyler Hansbrough 18 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2015)
In honor of March Madness and the glorification of the ideal of Men’s college basketball, I present to you highlights of the player most representative of those ideals: Tyler Hansbrough. Tyler embodies many tenets of the NCAA system: toughness, leadership, coachability, sacrifice. Or something. He’s also white. Very white. These highflying black players, they don’t…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope 27 Points Full Highlights (3/22/2015)
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope stood at the free throw line, just as he had a million times before. “Remember your rhythm, Ken,” he thought to himself as the referee prepared to throw him the ball for his first attempt. “Your teammates are counting on you, and you know how Gunds gets when you miss!” Celtics and Pistons…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 27 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
“How about Christina?” asked Anthony Morrow, pointing at the well-appointed cheerleader standing at the sideline. “No, I don’t like Christina,” answered Enes Kanter, who was staring at the towel in his lap. “You didn’t even look!” exclaimed Anthony. “She’s a ten out of ten in anybody’s book, and I’m sure she’s way hotter than Jessandra…
Read MoreJeff Green 23 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
Somebody in a comment on one of my videos once accused me of purposefully ignoring Jeff Green ever since he came to the Grizzlies. I think he must have thought I was a Celtics fan or something. I know I shouldn’t even read those stupid things, but once in a while there’s an opportunity to…
Read MoreRodney Hood 19 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
My music video for “Reppin’ the Hood feat. Rodney Hood” is coming along pretty well. Those bigtime label execs flew me and Rodney down to his hometown of Meridian, Mississippi so we could shoot the video. I actually brought my mom’s old camcorder and told the camera guy to use that so it would look…
Read MoreLeandro Barbosa 19 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
In remembrance I reflect upon what has passed, the waves of time crashing ceaselessly into my fragile body: Shawn Marion – Shamelessly ringchasing Raja Bell – Long expired Amar’e Stoudemire – Knees are man’s most precious commodity Leandro Barbosa – Composing his swansong Boris Diaw – Surveying his fallen comrades James Jones – Shamelessly ringchasing…
Read MoreCaron Butler 20 Points Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
Just in case you were wondering: yes, I am still disappointed in how Caron Butler played while he was in Milwaukee, and yes, I wish him and whatever unfortunate team makes the mistake of signing him ill for as long as I continue to draw breath. C-Butt could save a bus full of burning children…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
We should take a moment and be thankful for the confluence of events that has led to Donatas Motiejunas getting the amounts of minutes he has this year. If this were a normal, non-injury-riddled year for the Rockets, D-Mo would be languishing behind Dwight Howard, getting only relief minutes. T-Jones would be taking most of…
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